User talk:Roseanob/Draft

There aren’t any citations at all, so im not sure if all this information was all common knowledge to you or what. Being that, I wasn’t able to do both parts of my part of the assignment about evaluating the sources.

There were a few little errors also that had to do with spelling or grammar, so I fixed them for you. There were also a few run-on sentences or things that just didn’t make sense, so I tried to make those work with minimal changes towards your work.

Concerning the first two paragraphs, I don’t think you're supposed to have you own opinions or story of how you wrote and found this information. All of this information is going to go on a Wikipedia page and it'd look weird with that for the introduction.

Try adding in some section headers also; it'd make the whole thing flow together.

Other than that, you're on the right path. I found this extremely interesting so I could like to keep up on how this turns out!

Bahnzaijr (talk) 18:46, 6 April 2012 (UTC)bahnzaijr