User talk:Rossc936/sandbox

Professor D Feedback: This is really great work and I can tell you've all put a lot of time and thought into this so far. If possible, I think a quick second round of feedback would be good since stuff like citations need to still happen, and I want to help if you need me to. Let's be in touch about it. C : This is great. I can tell you've done a great deal of work on this. I love how thorough you are and your subsections are good. I also appreciate the hyperlinks you've put in. Your tone is mostly appropriate, and will probably be fine once citations are in, but do keep an eye on that in terms of making sure it's clear that it's not YOUR thoughts and ideas but those of others, since we're encyclopedic here. Now, let's talk about sourcing. I'm glad to see the citations you do have, but putting them in with the wikipedia citation manager is really easy, also here's the link to the training module for it https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/training/students/sources. You might notice that near-constant citation is a wikipedia norm in the sense that we need to verify everything. So I'm just a little nervous to not be seeing this yet. You can also add from today's reading as a source, and the reading we have up for next time on native american women's repro health, if that's helpful. This interview on decolonizing mental health may be useful though not exactly about native american experience https://calgaryjournal.ca/more/calgaryvoices/4982-decolonizing-mental-health-the-importance-of-an-oppression-focused-mental-health-system.html. Darren : this also looks really solid. Also would want to help with citations here, though. See my feedback for C on citations above. Were you still thinking of planting the seed for Middle Eastern representation on this page? If anything it could be just a seed you plant if you don't have time to develop it. We can discuss. Because I did think that was a good content gap to draw attention to. Also, this may be of interest: https://aalr.binghamton.edu/special-issue-on-asian-american-mental-health/. Jill: --T. Danylevich (talk) 19:48, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

Hi all! I was supposed to review Jillian's section but couldn't find it here or on her sandbox, so I've read over the entire piece.

C: Great job!! As you suggested in your note, I do think it would be useful to expand the section on environmental racism and include some specific cases/data that readers could look to, if you're able to. The paragraph on historical trauma (a great addition!) might also be expanded to flesh out the concept a little more - is the author's concept one of generational trauma (i.e. still affecting people today) or just in the 1980s? The six steps are a little vague, but explaining the whole history there would be too much for this article, so maybe you could just add a sentence or two describing what events she's referring to. Lastly, I think the "Inequalities in Health Care" and "Trends" sections might fit better within the "History" section since the IHS/healthcare are touched upon there.

Darren: Nice work!! The data you provided in the "History" section are a great addition; I wonder if more information/explanation could be provided on connection between the health issues you listed and the "social determinants" - is there any info on the types/quality of healthcare that Asian Americans are receiving as compared to the general U.S. population, for example? I see you've listed some social determinants at the end of that paragraph, so maybe those could be expanded upon a bit? In the same sense, what are some of the barriers to prenatal to prenatal care for Asian American women?

Great job overall! The article is well-developed and your additions filled some important gaps in the original article. --Kalinamajercak (talk) 16:10, 13 April 2020 (UTC)

Darren's Section
Hey Darren! Great job on both of your sections. I was really surprised about the cancer statistics for Asian Americans, and you drew really good claims from all the evidence you gathered in your research. I had no idea that Asian Americans were disproportionately affected by liver cancer and how they are the "posterboy" for unfounded health burdens and unknown underlying medical conditions. As many other first generation college students can relate to, including myself, those social determinants for health disparities are a huge contributor to medical issues because of an inherent language barrier, socioeconomic clashes, lack of education and racial discrimination (the most debilitating obstacle). I appreciate your strong concern for the Asian American population and the depth and breadth of your claims/evidence. Overall, great job on your first draft and I'm looking forward to the final project!

feedback for C's section
After reading your sections, I think you've done a great job so far! I really appreciate the emphasize you have on statistics when communicating the impact of the health disparities. I read in your note that you were considering expanding the environmental racism section to include examples, and I would certainly suggest that. Not only would it give you more lenght, but it would also give a better application to the statistics you included.

Also, one of my nursing classes doesn't weekly discussions on vulnerable populations, and one week we focused on American Indian/Native American populations. Not sure if any of these articles could be of much help (of if there's already a good use of them in the wiki article itself), but if you want to browse, here you go!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/09/trauma-lives-on-in-native-americans-while-the-us-looks-away?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Outlook https://khn.org/news/how-the-eastern-cherokee-took-control-of-their-health-care/ https://www.economist.com/united-states/2017/04/27/an-alcoholism-epidemic-among-the-lakota-sioux https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/09/us/why-care-at-native-american-hospitals-is-often-substandard.html (this one gives more critique on the funding of the IHS)

Otherwise, you've done a fabulous job!

Morganvr12 (talk) 20:59, 15 April 2020 (UTC)