User talk:Rpau23/sandbox

It is clear that lots of high-quality research articles were cited for this Wikipedia page, Rpau23. You've done a good job in narrowing down the topic given how broad it can be.

I found that many parts of the article could be revised to be more accessible to readers by employing more of an encyclopedic tone, rather than an academic tone. In other words, the article should read more like an encyclopedia, rather than an academic essay.

More context should be provided in the lead section for readers of different backgrounds. For example, the reason for the topic's noteworthiness should be established.

Italicizing and bolding should be used to put emphasis on facts where appropriate. For example, "U-shaped learning curves" under "Importance of Domain-General and Domain-Specific Learning Mechanisms" can be italicized for emphasis.

The "Future Research" section could benefit from incorporating a more balanced perspective that discusses not just domain-general learning mechanisms, but domain-specific learning mechanisms as well.Fchu6 (talk) 20:26, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Raymond,

Great work depicting the important information from the many articles you seem to have found! That being said, there is a lot of information on this page which might be overwhelming for the average reader. I think if you were to use bullet points or maybe more headings, this would keep the reader a little less overwhelmed.

The use of linking topics to other pages was also very well done. One thing I would suggest is perhaps giving a little bit of detail about the word you are linking so the reader doesn't "half" to click on it to know what it is. Having a little background on the word would save the reader some time and help the message you are trying to get across, get across with ease. I obviously wouldn't suggest doing this for all of them, just the links used in major points.

I agree with Flora when she says the article could use some revising to make it more Wikipedia friendly. Some of the sentences I had to go back and re-read do to the wordiness/academically written structure of it. Just little things like in the math section where is says: children with math difficulties performed " less well," ... dumbing it down to " they did worse " might get the point across a little easier.

I also agree with Flora about italicizing and bolding. Doing this will draw the reader to the important and major parts of the paragraph, further increasing the value of your information.

Overall I enjoyed the use of pictures and charts; they worked out very well for your article and helped visualize what you were saying. I think the information is excellent and although I do enjoy you're intelligent composition of sentences, I think writing it in a way everyone can read it, would make your article that much better :)

Good work!

- M.golchuk