User talk:Rrcopley12/erythrogenictoxin

Your introduction section is very clear and gives a good general background about erythrogenic toxins. I also think the way you explained the discrepancy about the number of these toxins was very neutral and well executed. I was confused about why there are serotypes a-c and Spe f-m- can you explain this either in the intro or the nomeclature section? In the discovery section, you put quotes around exoenzyme and I'm not sure what the purpose of the quotes are. Also, I'm not sure if you have the information about this but it would be helpful in the discovery section to also describe the discovery of the other toxins. Your nomenclature section is very interesting- I was wondering why erythogenic mean red rash? Also, is the nomenclature for the serotypes different? I was unclear about why you only described the nomenclature for SpeB- I think it would make more sense to describe how the nomenclature works generally. Why do you not include spe d, e, or f in the location of genes section? In your protein structure section you should put the paragraph about speB after the more general paragraph. Also, if it is possible to link the structural characteristics of the protein to its function you should do that. Your mechanisms of action section is very interesting. I'm not sure how much the readers of this article are intended to know about microbiology but I was not totally clear on the mechanisms of action, so I would suggest elaborating and making this section more understandable to someone who is not well versed in immunology. Overall, your article is very well written and is well structured. You need to expand and make some parts more clear, but this is definitely a solid start. Lydia bluestone (talk) 16:45, 7 March 2016 (UTC)

Kat's comments
Hi Rose,

I really like the organization and neutral tone/accessible style in which you wrote this draft. I think that, in addition to writing your planned sections on "Roles in virulence, pathogenicity, and infection," it would also be good for you to expand the SpeB processing section.

I think this article could benefit from some graphics/images, particularly in the section comparing the structure of the various erythrogenic toxins. If there aren't any suitable images, it might be possible to draw a crude map of the different domains using the rectangle and line drawing tools on PowerPoint, then save that as a PNG file and upload it.

-- Katbartlow (talk) 18:41, 11 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi Rose,

Nice job with this revision. I think this article is clear and informative, and you did a good job incorporating feedback. Also, thanks for updating Wikipedia with the improvements you've made to this article -- the world is now a slightly better place! -- Katbartlow (talk) 17:16, 18 April 2016 (UTC)