User talk:Rshadid/Insulin signal transduction pathway and regulation of blood glucose

=Group 5's review of Group 6=

Summary of article
This article describes the body's chemical responses to food entering the body. Insulin is released so the cells can absorb the glucose in the blood. The amount of insulin released is controlled by feedback mechanisms. This pathway also exhibits oscillatory behavior. Swmmr1928 (talk) 14:21, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Major concerns
In general some things could be explained in a way that is a bit cleaner or in a more logical manner. For example, you mentioned insulin is a substrate. I am not sure but I think from reading your article that insulin is a product of the reaction in the pancreas when glucose is produced from food eaten in the stomach. Insulin is also a substrate that binds to the Insulin Receptor that forms a complex that signals to the cell that glucose is outside the cell.

I guess in the introduction of the article, the part before the first section, "Insulin Signal Transduction Pathway," you actually do a bit more than actually introducing the topics. You go into lots of detail that could be used later in the article. Use the introduction to define some of the terms explained in more detail later.

In this paragraph: "Insulin secretion mechanism is based on Signal transduction pathway mechanism. A signal transduction pathway is based on extra-cellular signaling that in turn creates a response. This whole process has a set pathway in the Insulin secretion cycle too." Could you use a more concise word than "based." I do not really understand what you mean.

I think that if Figures 1.1.1 and 1.1.2 and the untitled figure could be enlarged, the article would benefit. You should stay consistent and either label all the figures or none of the figures.

I suggest that you create a section called mechanisms. Then the subsections to this mechanisms section can include the three mechanisms that you describe: Feedback Mechanism, Trigger mechanism, and Counter Mechanism. In addition, you can have an introductory paragraph to the mechanisms section that will units the three mechanisms.

Maybe also you can either add a section or expand upon diabetes and what exactly in the insulin pathway goes wrong.

Maybe you can also expound on the engineering concepts mentioned or add engineering concepts where appropriate. Swmmr1928 (talk) 14:31, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

Minor concerns
I do not think the following words need to be capitalized: stomach, beta, pancreas, insulin, insulin receptor, blood glucose, oscillatory, diabetes, hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia.

You have an example image that should be removed.

Inaccuracy or accuracy of randomly selected references
Problem according to Wikipedia "Cite error: There are ref tags on this page, but the references will not show without a Reflist template or a references tag; see the help page."

In other words, you need to put all the references in one reflist template not having references at the end of each section. When making these edits, using the preview feature can be helpful to see the result of the changes you are making. Swmmr1928 (talk) 18:31, 6 April 2011 (UTC)

I do not know how you have managed to do this but your references are broken up in the wrong places. There should not be images in the middle of the references. Swmmr1928 (talk) 14:37, 11 April 2011 (UTC)

=Group 5's Second review of Group 6=

Summary of Article
This article explains the regulation of insulin and blood glucose. Sw mmr1928  talk  21:05, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Major concerns
The lead needs a rewrite. The lead should summarize the article and say why the topic is important. Additionally, it should try to incorperate each section's heading in its own body. Nothing should be in that lead that is not discussed in the rest of the article. Please read this link for more information.

You attempt to say why the topic is important in these sentences:

"This topic is very crucial in understanding the physiological aspects of how this process would usually occur in the body. On a pathological basis, this topic is crucial to understanding certain disorders in the body such as Diabetes (Type 1,2,3), Hyperglycemia and Hypoglycemia."

But you have not said why it is important.

Consider major copy editing to improve organization. Read this link for more information

Consider linking to other articles during the first mention of an important term. For example, glucose should be linked. Link by putting 2 square brackets on each side of a word. Sw mmr1928  talk  21:12, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Minor concerns
Please include the doi for each journal reference. Sw mmr1928  talk  21:14, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Inaccuracy or accuracy of randomly selected references
=Review of Group 13 by Group 12=

Summary
This article is about the insulin signal transduction pathway and its relation to blood glucose regulation. During digestion in the stomach, a large amount of glucose is released into the blood stream. In response, the pancreas releases insulin, which induces a signal in cells that promotes processes that use up glucose. In order for the insulin secretion process to take place, certain feedback and trigger mechanisms must be activated. The process is formally regulated by counter mechanisms such as glucagon secretion. Finally, the article analyzes the oscillatory behavior of the pathway involving glucagon and insulin.

Major Concerns
The writing in the Insulin Signal Transduction Pathway Section is choppy and does not flow well. In the very first paragraph, “Insulin secretion mechanism is based on Signal transduction pathway mechanism. A signal transduction pathway is based on extra-cellular signaling that in turn creates a response. This whole process has a set pathway in the Insulin secretion cycle too.” There are no transitions and the sentences seem disjointed. Also, there are only two references for this whole section. For the amount of information in this section, there should probably be more citations.

The pictures in the Feedback Mechanism section are not coded correctly. The second paragraph is random. If you are going to define terms, which is very helpful for the section, it should be in the beginning, not splitting the topic. After introducing the definitions, you can lead in to the insulin positive and negative feedbacks. Also, if you are defining positive and negative feedback you should also briefly describe what transduction pathway is in the paragraph.

The Trigger Mechanism section has no citations. All of the information in this section is not common knowledge and needs to be credited to the authors. Other than that this section is very well written and descriptive.

In the Oscillatory Behavior section, the picture to the right needs a citation and a caption. There is only one citation in the whole section. With this amount of information, it seems like there should probably be more than just one citation.

Minor Concerns
In the Insulin Signal Transduction Pathway section, “The closure of the Potassium channels causes Depolarization of the cell membrane causing the cell membrane to stretch which causes the voltage-gated Calcium channel on the membrane to open causing an influx of Ca2+ ions” is a run on sentence and should be split up into two separate sentences in order for it to sound less confusing. Furthermore, at the end of the “Secretion of Insulin” section, the final sentence would be better without a semicolon. Rather, it could be written,“ This influx then stimulates fusion of the insulin vesicles (bubble like structure with insulin in them) to the cell membrane and also stimulates the secretion of Insulin in the extracellular fluid outside the beta cell. Thus, this process makes the insulin enter the bloodstream.

In the Feedback Mechanism section, find a different transition for “on the other hand” in the first paragraph since it is transitioning to another function not an opposite. Try simultaneously, or concurrently. The sentence following the 1st picture “in the liver insulin...” needs a comma between liver and insulin. The 1st sentence of the definition paragraph needs to be reworded. Try something more like “there are two types of feedback mechanisms, positive...” Check that paragraph for more wording issues; many of the sentences need work. In the 3rd sentence of the 3rd paragraph replace making of with production of. In the 4th paragraph, 1st sentence replace some enzymes with certain enzymes.

In the counter mechanisms section check simple grammar. Overall, this section was well written.

In the Oscillatory Behavior section, in the sentence, “This is both delivered to the liver and other muscle tissues throughout the body.”, you should specify what “this” is by changing it to “Insulin”. Also, in the sentence, “with this, the allowance of glucose into cells is increased, and therefore the concentration of blood-glucose is able to increase.” you once again need to specify what “this” is.

At the end of the article, there is a picture in the middle of the references. Is that picture supposed to be there? If not, that picture should be taken away.

Insulin Signal Transduction Pathway
Looking over this section, it seems as not much has been corrected from the before. This is a major concern. I still believe that the writing still does not have a good flow to it. Overall, the tone of the writing is too conversational and should be modified to sound more professional. One thing that was improves was the pictures have now been added to this section. I think that the pictures are helpful and relevant in helping the reader understand this section.

Something of minor concern is that it that the headings of the sections should be written in sentence case not title case.

Feedback Mechanism
This section is organized a lot better now that the definitions paragraph is the first of the section. Also, you fixed the fourth citation and it is much better. The pictures still are only showing as addresses and I'm not sure if that is because you haven’t received permission yet or if they are still not coded correctly. The first link needs to be redone; you have signal “transductionis”. I like that positive and negative feedback now have separate subheadings it helps the organization. You still need to read over the paragraphs carefully, I found some cases where the subject and verbs don’t agree and random spacing errors. I don’t like the beginning of the negative feedback section “insulin results in negative feedback,” it needs to be reworded.

Trigger Mechanism
Great job citing the section. It is for the most part well written but there is a section that is bothering me. “That was one of the main mechanisms of insulin release. There are other mechanisms that release insulin. Food intake is one of them; it doesn’t just go through glucose and carbohydrate intake.” First, create a new paragraph for this new topic. Second, improve informal language and choppy sentences. “That was one of the main mechanisms of insulin release” does not need to be in the section. You can find another place to mention that it is the main mechanism such as when you introduce it, say “a main mechanism for releasing insulin is....” Combine the next two sentences for flow: Food intake is another mechanism that releases insulin. Add more description than just the two following sentences if you are going to include it in the section. “it doesn’t just go through glucose and carbohydrate intake” is way too informal. Make acetylcholine a new paragraph and beta cells a new paragraph they are two different topics and should be separated. Also, you used “the latter” too much; add some variety. You added the stress hormone sentence at the end which has no other information on it besides it releases insulin. It’s just been added in. The sentences in the second part need some variety when introducing what releases insulin. It just sounds repetitive. If you are just listing other mechanisms that release insulin, list them in one sentence. If not, they need more information.

Counter Mechanism
Section was grammatically corrected and flows well, from my knowledge seems to be correct factually and is written well. If anything I would add what normal blood levels are just so the reader has numbers to go off of and make the article have more meaning.

Oscillatory Behavior
A major concern is that many of the topics in this section can be linked to other Wikipedia articles, like “glycogen sis”. So link them! A minor concern is the statement, “This, in other words, increases the utilization of the glucose already present in the liver.”- The “in other words” is not necessary, it would sound better if it was taken out.

The picture still needs a caption and citation.

Hhuang1 (talk) 22:35, 3 May 2011 (UTC)