User talk:Rubymelman/Deafness in Thailand

Language Emergence section
No content provided as of 9/20/22. Would score 0/3. Matthall.research (talk) 18:36, 20 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Delighted to see more content here now! Also very pleased that you've included Ban Khor Sign Language on the list: good job.  At this point, the greatest need is to add references for each claim in the section.  Even if two claims come from the same source, cite each one independently.  Once those citations are added, this would score a solid 2 out of 3 ("acceptable").  If you want to word toward an "exemplary" rating, add information about whether each language is a deaf community sign language or shared-signing community, and how each language came into being.  Matthall.research (talk) 14:46, 21 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Initial graded feedback:
 * Really nice content! There's one quotation that's provided without a citation, so you'll need to fix that.  The only other feedback I have is that I think this section would benefit from being organized into sub-sections for each language that you mention: TSL, MTSL, Old Bangkok, Chiangmai, and Ban Khor.  It's ok that not all of the sections will be equally robust (for now) - it will just help the reader find information more easily.
 * Current score: 2.5/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:02, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
 * A few more notes on a second read. BKSL has always been a shared signing community.  Please also attend to the other "citation needed" flag.  Still 2.5/3.  Matthall.research (talk) 20:06, 22 October 2022 (UTC)

Deaf Empowerment/Leadership section
As above, the main need at this point is references. I'd also encourage you to retitle this section something like "Significant Organizations", so that you can include groups that are having an impact on DHH people in Thailand even if they're not always empowerment-focused. You included a few of these yesterday, although some of them might be better included under the education sections. Currently, this would score somewhere between 1 and 2; adding references are more organizations would move it up. Matthall.research (talk) 14:53, 21 September 2022 (UTC)


 * See comments on "Significant Organizations", below. Matthall.research (talk) 20:17, 22 October 2022 (UTC)

Human/Civil Rights section
As with the previous two sections, more frequent citations are needed to support the claims that you're making. Since every statement in a wikipedia article should be reporting facts, every statement needs to show where those facts came from. This also means that you'll need to remove sentences that don't report facts, such as the ones that you have at the beginning and end: those are more evaluative. Although they're quite true, they don't fit on Wikipedia.

I'd also like to see you rely on a broader set of sources; you don't necessarily *need* to use Thailand's report to the CRPD, but it's such fertile ground that I would definitely recommend it. But do remember that in the report, Thailand is trying to make itself look good, so you'll need to think carefully about what they're not saying, and pay attention to your other sources, which might highlight differences between what the CRPD (and WFDeaf) would like to see vs. what's actually happening. Right now this section would be just shy of a "2"; I'm confident that you'll be able to get it a bit higher. Matthall.research (talk) 23:35, 29 September 2022 (UTC)


 * Initial graded feedback:
 * There have been modest improvements since the above feedback, but there's still much less content here than there could be. Drawing on the CRPD would be the easiest way to further develop this section.
 * Current score: 2/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:16, 22 October 2022 (UTC)

Significant Organizations section
Initial graded feedback:

This is another strong section. It could be strengthened by:

- identifying which organizations are Deaf-led

-including more links to other organizations (if available)

-providing more frequent citations

-adding more details about what the Nippon Foundation has done in Thailand.

Current score: 2.25/3 Matthall.research (talk) 20:11, 22 October 2022 (UTC)

Primary & Secondary Education
Please don't ever put anything on wiki's mainspace without including citations!

I recommend reorganizing the paragraph to lead with the big-picture info that currently comes at the end. Then you can start providing more of the details.

Estimated current score (not graded): 1/3 (due primarily to the lack of citations) Matthall.research (talk) 20:25, 22 October 2022 (UTC)