User talk:Rungos/sandbox

test Rungos (talk) 11:56, 18 September 2014 (UTC)Rungos

Comments
I'm an online ambassador for your WMST 250: Women, Art, and Culture (2014 Q3) class and have just stopped by to provide a quick review and add what I hope will be helpful comments.

You've done a nice job on the article! I especially like the summary in the introduction that provides a good sense of who we'll be reading about. It's an interesting article and I get a good sense of her motivation, interests and accomplishments. Great job!

Some suggestions are:
 * When a claim is made, like "one of the most well-known writers in Singapore", then it should be attributed to someone. Maybe something like "one of the most well-known writers in Singapore, according to HarperCollins Publishers." (i.e., the publisher or author)
 * Do you have a source / sources for the list of works and awards?
 * The titles of works, like her plays, should be in italics.

More nit-picky wording ideas you may want to consider to be a little more concise and have a more encyclopedic tone:
 * What do you think about changing "She is still alive today and living in Singapore" to something like "She lives in Singapore" -- today is a relative term. That may be true today, but not in a month, year, or more from now.
 * Regarding "Yu also suffers from epilepsy and as a result takes many notes around with her in order to counter memory lapses she may or may not suffer from the condition." What do you think about shortening this: is "she may or may not suffer" needed?
 * You have a great writing style for articles and essays. I'm wondering for the encyclopedia if "When she is not writing, she mentions that she does yoga daily and volunteers at the ASPCA weekly.[citation needed]" could be shortened to exclude "When she is not writing, she mentions that"?
 * Regarding her interest in strong female characters: "because she believes that they steer the shows in the directions they need to go in." what does this mean?
 * Can the sentence that starts out "She believes that writing these strong characters as female will communicate her message across cultures.." be ended with "cultures and nationalities."? In other words, Is "and aims to reach people who are not Singaporean, as well as those who are." needed?

I'll be watching this page and your sandbox page for any updates. You can also "ping" me (just type "" as you see it) to your message on this page or leave a message on my talk page. Happy editing!-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 00:20, 2 November 2014 (UTC)


 * Hi,
 * The article is coming along nicely!
 * When you have multiple uses of the same source, there's a cool trick to roll them up into one line in the reference section. You assign a unique "ref name" to the first use of the source: undefined and then use a short tag for subsequent uses undefined that has a slash (/) after the ref name.
 * When you're ready to move the article to article space, see moving a page.-- CaroleHenson  ( talk ) 19:35, 12 November 2014 (UTC)