User talk:Rwomac6/sandbox/1

Rwomac6

Good article! I just have a few suggestions. In the first paragraph "always a huge success" is an opinion/ needs a source. In the second paragraph, add more details about where it is held. At the end of the fourth paragraph add some type of transition or concluding sentence because it just kind of ends and the next paragraph is a completely different subject.The last paragraph needs a lot more details about what happens at the festival, like examples of the specific topics / serious topics."Typical women lifestyle ritual"- kind of suggestive/ what is an example of this. Maybe even move the last paragraph to the beginning when talking about the festival then talk about Jill Dolan. J chotto (talk) 14:59, 27 October 2015 (UTC)J Chotto