User talk:SAVega7/sandbox

Carl Woese and Rita Colwell are both very accomplished people in the world of microbiology; therefore, they both have Wikipedia articles on who they are and what they've done. Although the articles both contain information on the separate scientists, there is a significant difference in the overall length of the articles, the detail of the content, and reference section length. Carl Woese' article in comparison to Rita Colwell's article is much longer in it's overall length. Part of the reason is because besides having a general summary of who he is, there are also sections containing detailed information of his life and education, his discoveries and what he studied, his perspective on biology, and honors he is credited with. Rita colwell's article is very short and vague. The general summary is only two sentences long and describes her date of birth, birth place, and her profession as an environmental microbiologist. After the general summary of Rita Colwell, there is only one section explaining, very vaguely, her accomplishments with her career. Unlike Carl Woese' article, there is no explanation of her impact on science, what she is credited with, or what she studied. Besides the length and content of the articles, the number of references used for each article also differs. Whereas Carl's article had 42 references, Rita's article only contained 12. The number of references and content of these articles, however, have no impact on Carl Woese' and Rita Colwell's impact on microbiology.

The starting of this article includes a lot of very important information for Mary Ann Moran. There are some super easy things you can do first to make it even better. Formatting your main categories into headings, which you can do under the paragraph bar in the main editing toolbar, will not only provide readers with whats going to be discussed in each section, but also creates a table on contents at the beginning of your page for easy navigation. Secondly, remember to cite your sources. Wiki makes it easy because as long as you enter the correct URL for you source, it takes care of in-text citations and citations under the reference section of your article. Third, linking topics within your article that correspond to other Wiki articles is a great way for readers to explore the topics discussed about your article on their own time. Continuing with this notion, the list of academic positions she has held is awesome but make sure to back up this research with citations. Also, under the list of academic positions "From 1993-1998 she was Assistant Professor." where at? Looks like the work you have done so far will set you up for a great article on Mary Ann Moran. Burbyhe (talk) 17:00, 21 October 2016 (UTC)BurbyheBurbyhe (talk) 17:00, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Instructor's Comments
A few things that need to be changed before you go live:

1) Your citations need to be in the text, not at the end. 2) You need to add in the biography info box.

After you go live, you can work more on expanding the Work and Discoveries page. I also suggest a few edits to the honors section to explain a bit about the honors she has. For instance, what is the Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation? Google it! What is the creative research medal? Google it, then add in a description of what the award means to make this section more meaningful. S L Seston (talk) 16:30, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

Mary Ann Moran Article
Introductory paragraph

Instead of using the term "gaps" write "Her work is helping to determine how microbes...." May want to swap the order of the last sentence to "She is laying the ground work ...by finding their roles" or something similar. May want to go a little more in depth about the medals in another section so people know why they are special. Create links for University of Georgia, dissolved organic matter, sulfur cycle, and carbon cycle.

Education Section

Create links for Colgate University in Hamilton and Cornell University if possible. Change second sentence to "In 1982 she attended Cornell University, Ithaca, NY in the Department of Natural Resources and earned her M.S.," the date may need to be swapped depending on what occurred in 1982 (attending University or earning her M.S.). Instead of using "got" write "She received her Ph.D. in 1987" Instead of using "where she stayed" write "She remained at the University of Georgia to pursue..." and connect the last sentences "...research and academic positions, by which she accomplished..."

Works and Discoveries

Create links for Roseobacter bacteria, biogeochemical Explain what DOM is. Instead of "has been" use "have been" Instead of using "...smallest units of..." try "...smallest entities" Delete "concepts as big as" and replace with "global processes such as global climate..." Rewrite the last sentence to something like "Moran and her team's major contribution to science is the discovery of a gene in two groups of plankton. This discovery helps to determine...."

MCSimps (talk) 17:22, 28 October 2016 (UTC)