User talk:SBakion/sandbox

Wow, you’ve already made a lot of great edits to this article! I appreciate your use of images, as this article topic lends itself to the use of visual aids. Here are a few suggestions for further edits:

1. The “History” section is sparse on citations. Maybe think about keeping an eye out for this information as you parse through your sources so that you can add a couple of citations

2. There is a notice that the second image's copyright and license information is missing. It appears that if this is not addressed it will be automatically deleted

3. The reference from the Ophthalmology Times seems to have a format error that needs to be cleaned up

4. The lead, in and of itself, seems to be so much more substantial than other sections, making the article unbalanced. Maybe some passages in the lead don’t need to be there, as they are repeated in the main article. I’m thinking specifically of the last paragraph, which contains the same information that appears in the history section.

5. It seems that an article about a neurological condition should have a section describing the symptoms/experience in further detail. An example is the “Signs and Symptoms” section in the article on Dysgraphia

Thanks for all your work on this. I think this is a fascinating topic, and I hope you’re enjoying diving in. Scouterson (talk) 23:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review
This topic is fascinating and it seems you're well on your way to some edits to improve the article!

One thing I noted as I read the article in its current state is that some aspects surprised me and could perhaps use some material to bridge them.

In particular, based on the way I interpreted the lead, I was surprised to see that most of the notable Aphantasiacs were authors or others involved in creative pursuits. It seems like it would be a real challenge to create content if you were unable to visualize mental imagery. So I feel as though I might be misunderstanding what that means...?

With that in mind, I think this article might benefit from a bit more clarity in the lead, or from a section that describes in more depth what the experience of aphantasism is like and/or what the implications tend to be for the person who suffers from it.

Regardless of where you end up focusing your edits, I'm looking forward to seeing the new and improved Aphantasia article when you've wrapped up!

216.128.106.208 (talk) 19:25, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

(I just realized I wasn't logged in so the four tildes didn't work to show my username during my edits... oops!)

Ninitasporseen (talk) 19:26, 4 October 2020 (UTC)

You've received great feedback from your peers. My suggestion would be to concentrate on a few specific areas that are of interest to you. Remember you don't need to improve the entire article just parts of it. DrTraceyJHayes (talk) 03:41, 8 October 2020 (UTC)