User talk:SISI16/Sexual dimorphism and Parental care

I have left comments for your article. You can view them by going into edit mode. Make sure that you have cited information. Many of your examples do not take fully into account the competing evidence on parental care in birds, so I would make sure to look for additional sources. Hedgehog1017 (talk) 19:24, 6 April 2017 (UTC)

I left a couple comments. I agree with Angie, add in some citations and additional sources. There are some grammatical and sentence structure errors sprinkled throughout, so I would do some proofreading. Also make sure that you are paraphrasing from your sources and not plagiarizing. b.kaidra (talk) 18:22, 11 April 2017 (UTC)

It might be better to make the title/topic more specific – like “mortality costs of sexual dimorphism in birds”. It is good to spend some time explaining sexual dimorphism, just make sure there isn’t too much overlap with the Wikipedia article that is already there about sexual dimorphism because you can just link to that. You can spend more time in the lead section talking about the idea of natural selection opposing sexual selection and giving an overview of the rest of your article. Make sure that you correct the typos and grammar issues, as well as respond to the specific comments on your article (change the article, and the describe how you changed the article in the response to comments on your talk page). Make sure the lead section is a summary (the is a Wikipedia specific format – refer back to the training info if necessary), and there should be no conclusion. Finally, It is unclear to me how the Great Bustard example fits in to your article. It is a nice example of extreme sexual dimorphism, but I don’t see any tie into the main topic of your article, which is sexual dimorphism leading to mortality. Is there any example of mortality caused by this sexual dimorphism in this species? If so, please elaborate, or tie this section in to the rest of the article. Advevol (talk) 17:47, 18 April 2017 (UTC)