User talk:Sabinemue

Hello Sabine

You have written a really nice text. A have just a few suggestions how to improve it.

First, I would suggest, that you could make shorter sentences (This is not the case for every sentence, just for a few). For example your first sentence looks like this: Dipteryx odorata (commonly known as "cumaru" or "kumaru") is a species of flowering tree in the pea family, Fabaceae, that is native to Central America and northern South America. Maybe you could set a point after flowering tree. And therefore create two sentences.

Second I would suggest, that you put all the information about the seeds together. You could take the information of the introduction down, to where you explain the coumarin. Instead of the seed information, I would put the first 2 sentences of the second passage into the introduction: ''Dipteryx odorata (commonly known as "cumaru" or "kumaru") is a species of flowering tree in the pea family, Fabaceae, that is native to Central America and northern South America. The word "tonka" is taken from the Galibi (Carib) tongue spoken by natives of French Guiana; it also appears in Tupi, another language of the same region, as the name of the tree. The old genus name, Coumarouna, was formed from another Tupi name for tree, kumarú.'' Because this way only biological data is in the second passage, you could create a new chapter and name it "Biology"

The data about the pests you could put after you explained the biology. This way, there is no interruption between the fruits and the seeds.

Additionally, you could create more passages. I think that this way the reader finds its way around a little bit easier.

I have to say, that I love your picture. Could you maybe cut the white edges (left and right) away? I think this way, the beans would become even a little bit more prominent.

In the Agricultural Aspects section: Do you have some more information about the harvest and post-harvest processes? I think, that could be interesting. Further I have a question? Why do they use the tonka bean in the tobacco industry? Could you maybe explain that?

I really liked the passage about the Social Aspects! Nice done. Just one thing: I think, that the sentence: The yield of beans per tree is about 1-3.5 kg per year but Cumaru trees produce a large volume of seeds every four years, is part of the Agricultural aspects.

Altogether I have to say, that I really liked you text. I think it creates a very nice overview over the cumaru tree! Good job :D If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

kind regards Fiona

Feedback Simon
Hi Sabine

You did a nice job altogether. I like your summary at the top of your entry.

To your structure: I would make a section „Biology“ with all the text you wrote in the second part of your summary (without the first two sentences, leave them in the summary).

In the following i give you a sentence I found in your entry and add my suggestions/corrections: „The tree itself grows up to 25-30 meters, with trunk to 1 meter diameter.“-> ...with a trunk of up to one meter in diameter. „The tonka seed contains coumarin, a chemical isolate from this plant, which also gave the name to it.“ -> are you sure? (not vice-versa? I don‘t know)

„Until their research, it had been assumed unlikely that any Amazonian tree could live to great age due to the conditions of the rain forest.“ -> could reach an old age due to...

„calcifuge tree and will grow on poor, well drained soils.“ -> tree and grows on poor, well... „The best growth is reached on more fertile soils rich in humus.“ -> I would leave the word „more“

„In general it has a very low population density.“-> I would write: In general, tonka has a very low plant density.

„In the seed collection area the density is higher as well as the trees are much older, compared to the timber production areas.“ -> the density is higher and the trees are much older... Or: In seed production systems, the plant density is higher and the trees are older than in timber production systems.

„January to March [2] or sometimes already a bit earlier.“-> March or sometimes earlier.

„...removed and the beans spread out for 2-3 days to...“-> and the beans are spread out...

„The most important importer are the United States.“-> importer means a company or a person, not a country-> the most important importing country are the US.

„They use it especially for the tobacco industry. “->There it is used especially in the tobacco industry.

„generates an important income of rural families“-> important income for rural families

„seeds every four years, which result in a gender dynamic.“-> every four years. This fact results in a gender dynamic. I would separate this sentence to improve its comprehensibility.

I think the entry is lovely compact and easily understandable. But you still included a whole lot of information. Top job, as an Irish would say :-)

see you, simon — Preceding unsigned comment added by 129.132.209.212 (talk) 08:11, 21 November 2012 (UTC)