User talk:Sac304/sandbox

Peer edit by Ruth Axton: I think that the addition of the first paragraph giving her background is nice because it gives context to the writers life. I think that it would be helpful in that paragraph to also include when she wrote a wrinkle in time as to make sure the paragraph still connects to the general Wikipedia page. It may also be helpful for the readers if the description of time was consistent, what I mean by that is instead of in the first paragraph describing time based on her age also including the year. Because the second paragraph refers to time in years, it can be a bit confusing because the reader may not understand how old the author was at that point. Also within the first paragraph, I think that it would be interesting and add to the description of the author if an interview was found in which she describes her life.

In the section about the book in its series, it would be helpful to define what a time quintet is.

I think the edits that were made to the background section of the page help immensely with the flow and organization of the information.

The first sentence of the feminist section is slightly confusing and should be shortened in the description of the characters. I know the citations are not yet included on the sandbox but, this sentence should also include a citation after it because without one it could very easily be construed as original research. Overall, make sure the second paragraph is heavily cited.

Riley Christensen Evaluation. The first issue I found with this article is that I cannot tell if it is original research or not. Who credited her? Is it her own belief that she was inspired to keep writing? Since you don't have your citations in yet, I feel somewhat lost in the content in front of me. Adding your citations and signaling phrases will help clarify this confusion. The sentence "Additionally, L'Engle drew upon her interest in science." seems too informal, perhaps using more formal language that avoids the transition word 'additionally' would help this seem more formal. I also don't think this needs its own paragraph, unless you're going to add more. I don't think the "time quintet" should be in the background section, rather I think that it should be made into its own paragraph. The second paragraph is a little clunky, the number of edits make it seem disjointed and I don't think that it flows well if the deleted text was removed. I think you should test this in the Otherwise, the writing is very well done, the flow of the paragraphs is concise and well organized, and I think that your current draft is nearly ready to be published. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mac507 (talk • contribs) 19:03, 15 April 2019 (UTC)