User talk:Sackhy/sandbox

=Cologne Religion Evaluations= Religion[edit] Slightly more than half of the residents of Cologne are members of a religion. As of 2015, 35.5% of the population belonged to the Roman Catholic Church, the largest religious body, and 15.5% to the Evangelical Church.[1] Irenaeus of Lyons claims that Christianity was brought to Cologne by Roman soldiers and traders at an unknown early(earlier) date. Though, in the early second century it was a bishop’s seat. The first historical Bishop of Cologne was Saint Maternus — a peer of Constantine.[2] Thomas Aquinas studied in Cologne in 1244 under Albertus Magnus.[3] Cologne is the seat of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cologne. There are several mosques, including the Turkish-Islamic Union for Religious Affairsrun Cologne Central Mosque. Cologne also has one of the oldest and largest Jewish communities in Germany.[4]In 2007, there were 120,000 Muslims in Cologne, the most of any German city.[5]

^ "Statistisches Jahrbuch 2016". stadt-koeln.de. 1 February 2016. Retrieved 25 September 2017. ^ "CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Cologne". www.knight.org. Retrieved 2019-04-20. ^ "St. Thomas Aquinas > By Individual Philosopher > Philosophy". www.philosophybasics.com. Retrieved 2019-04-20. ^ Serup-Bilfeldt, Kirsten (19 August 2005). "Cologne: Germany's Oldest Jewish Community". Deutsche Welle. Retrieved 6 September 2011. ^ "Cologne mosque divides religions in Germany". Reuters. 2007-07-05. Retrieved 2019-04-19.

4/23/2019 Evaluation by Kathryn Mackie User:Katemackie (talk) 23 April 2019
Points: 40/40 Grade: 100%

I did not see anything that I would change. Grammar and language are correct. The new information adds value to the page. The new information also flows well with the original information. He uses three good sources! Good work. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Katemackie (talk • contribs) 16:44, 24 April 2019 (UTC)

4/24/2019 Evaluation by Peter BrandtPjbpdx (talk) 12:36, 24 April 2019 (UTC)
Points: 40/40 Grade: 100%

Spelling/Grammar Exceeds standard. Perfect spelling and great grammar. I made one small suggestion that may improve the tone. Perhaps its not necessary.

Language Exceeds standard. Perfect encyclopedic tone and diction.

Organization Exceeds standard. Perfect paragraphs and headers. Information flows well.

Coding Exceeds standard. Perfect code.

Validity Exceeds standard. Solid and well organized information.

Completion Exceeds standard. Complete.

Relevance Exceeds standard. All ideas and information are relevant to the topic.

Sources Exceeds standard. Solid and credible academic resources.

Citations Exceeds standard. Present and in perfect format.

References Exceeds standard. Updated and correct format. Pjbpdx (talk) 19:13, 23 April 2019 (UTC)

5/4/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 15:14, 4 May 2019 (UTC)

Much of this is pretty sketchy. You need to seek more solid source material and make sure what you are writing is relevant for the place where you are writing it. It's good that you're bold in terms of contributing to Wikipedia, but I suggest you go and clean things up a bit, and maybe rearrange some of your text to put it into the places where it is more relevant.


 * Points: 29/40
 * Grade: 72.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.

Language
Meets standard. Since Ireneaus of Lyons died in the 3rd century, maybe it's an idea to refer to him in the past tense, though I realize that in some cases you want to refer to written material in the present. If the latter was your intent, maybe mention what document this was from.

Organization
Nearly meets standard. The organization is a little sketchy, with your historical bit placed in the middle of the demographic bit. The history is probably better put into the history section under Roman Cologne.

Coding
Nearly meets standard.
 * The link to Saint Maternus seems to be an external link to the mobile version of Wikipedia, rather than an internal link to the same version of Wikipedia.
 * In your live Wikipedia version of this, there were a lot of missing spaces, which I have since fixed.

Validity
Does not meet standard.
 * The Muslim congregation in Berlin is more than twice that of Cologne.

Completion
Nearly meets standard. The added text is a bit too much on the short side.

Relevance
Nearly meets standard.
 * Why is it relevant to mention that St. Materus was a peer of Constantine? Which Constantine? The Great??
 * As mentioned under organization, this material does not seem to fit with the demographic topic.

5/15/2019 Evaluation by Pjbpdx
Pjbpdx (talk) 21:24, 15 May 2019 (UTC)

Points: 31.7/40 Grade: 79%

Spelling/Grammar Meets Standard. Spelling and grammar seem ok.

Language Nearly meets standard. There are a couple of sentences that I'd consider rewording so that the content flows better. "Originating out of Latin in the north-east area of the (Italian) peninsula — Venetian grew organically and developed independently." I'd consider using a comma as the '-' creates a bit of a strong break in the material and seems to fragment the first part of the statement. "Speakers of various Veneto dialects mostly communicate verbally — it is not taught in school — children generally learn it in their homes." Same here. Using hyphens seems coarse in this context. The info is great but I think that if more complex sentences were formed conveying the material it'd greatly/positively contribute to your writing.

Organization Meet standard. You'll be adding a new header?

Coding Meets standard. Looks ok as far as I can tell.

Validity Nearly meets standard. The information seems to be relevant and accurate, however several of your sources seem questionable.

Completion Meets standard.

Relevance Meets standard.

Sources Nearly meets standard. You have some super quality academic sources that are easily accessible and open. At the same time, you've chosen to use sources that are questionable. 'Venice City Guide' didn't provide any references of their own that I saw. Source #7 is a travel blog. Source #8 I wasn't able to access and source #10 posed an interesting statement with a photo of a pug. What is my dog trying to warm me about when he licks his paws?

Citations Meets standard. Your citations are placed appropriately and functional.

References Meets standard. Good job!

5/15/2019 Evaluation by Kate Mackie[edit]
Points: 34/40 Grade: 85%

Spelling/Grammar Meets Standard.

Language Meets Standard. I would suggest linking "lingua franca" to it's wikipedia page so people can reference what that really means. You may want to add some depth to a couple of points you make; "while the youth tend to only speak it with their families", why? "In 2007 the “Protection, development and promotion of the Venetan linguistic and cultural heritage” was passed" How had this contributed to the protection of the language?

Organization Meet Standard.

Coding Meet Standard.

Validity Meets Standard.

Completion Significant Nearly Meets Standard. The preservation of old languages is a very interesting topic and I think that there is more you could add to this section. The importance of preservation, possibly the connection between the language and the culture.

Relevance Nearly Meets Standard. As I stated before, there needs to be more of a connection to why this matters today.

Sources Meets Standard.

Citations Meets Standard.

References Meets Standard.

=Antwerp Minorities Evaluations=

6/11/2019 Evaluation by Kate Mackie[edit]
Points: 36/40 Grade: 90%

Spelling/Grammar Meets Standard.

Language Meets Standard. I would suggest switching these sentences around. "Within Antwerp, Jain community life is centrally located in the suburb of Wilrijk.[15] Belgian-Indian Jains control two-thirds of the rough diamonds trade and supplied India with roughly 36% of their rough diamonds." So it would be; "Belgian-Indian Jains control two-thirds of the rough diamonds trade and supplied India with roughly 36% of their rough diamonds. Within Antwerp, Jain community life is centrally located in the suburb of Wilrijk.[15]"... The topics like this make more sense because the preceding sentence is about the diamond industry as well.

Organization Meet Standard.

Coding Meet Standard.

Validity Meets Standard.

Completion Significant Nearly Meets Standard. While reading the "Muslim" section, I was curious if you found any reason as to why a lot of Muslim men were immigrating to Antwerp in the 1960s? This information would add depth to the topic.

Relevance Nearly Meets Standard. You did a very good job embedding your new information into the information that already exists.

Sources Meets Standard.

Citations Meets Standard.

References Meets Standard.

6/11/2019 Evaluation by Pjbpdx
Pjbpdx (talk) 12:21, 11 June 2019 (UTC)

Points: 33/40 Grade: 83%

Spelling/Grammar Meets Expectations. I'd consider using a ";" instead of a "," in this sentence: 'Construction for the temple began in the late 90s, the style is a mix of traditional Eastern ideology and religious theology.'

Language Meets Expectations. I'd consider avoiding using a percentage at the start of a sentence. ‘’95% of the children from the Jewish community are enrolled in Jewish schools”. This sentence seems a bit choppy. Perhaps consider rewording.”Antwerp contains a large Muslim community; Out of its population, one out of six is Muslim.”

Organization Meets Expectations.

Coding Nearly Meets Expectations. The coding for these sources is incomplete: 4,5,9,12,32

Validity Nearly Meets Expectations. You wrote that ‘13.3% of the population are registered as foreigners’. In your source, I’m seeing that it’s 13%.

Completion Exceeds Standard. Complete.

Relevance Exceeds Expectations. No irrelevant content.

Sources Meets Expectations. Solid sources.

Citations Incomplete or formatting inconsistencies. The coding for these sources is incomplete: 4,5,9,12,32. Other than that, your citations look to be in order.

References Incomplete or formatting inconsistencies. The coding for these sources is incomplete: 4,5,9,12,32. Other than that, your references look to be in order.

6/14/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 18:03, 14 June 2019 (UTC)

This needs a lot of work before adding to Wikipedia, but there is some good work here.
 * Points: 33/40
 * Grade: 82.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Nearly meets standard.
 * "Half of the foreign population of Antwerp in the late 1920s were Jewish." Population is singular. were=>was.
 * "In the late 1950’s-1960’s..." those decades are plural, not possessive. Get rid of those apostrophes.
 * "...in the diamond business, this has now grown to 600 families." Comma splice.
 * "The first Jain temple on the European continent, as well as one of the biggest Jain shrines outside of India[insert comma here] is the Shri Shankheshwar Parshvanath Jain Derasar is located in Wilrijk."
 * "...late 90s; the style..." semi-colon not incorrect, but still awkward. Later uses of semi-colon have similar problems.
 * "...population, yet, there..." Omit second comma.

Language
Meets standard.
 * "...mostly men of Muslim backgrounds from Morocco and Turkey migrated to Antwerp." This is confusingly worded. As it is, it implies that non-Muslim men from Morocco and Turkey were less inclined to migrate to Antwerp than their Muslim counterparts were.

Organization
Nearly meets standard.
 * Given that the Muslim community is the largest, why is it coming last? It makes more sense to place them in declining order of size.

Coding
Does not meet standard.
 * There are numerous code errors in the references.

Validity
Meets standard.
 * Regarding the 13.3% "foreigners", the Eurofound source qualifies that as being foreign nationals (ie. citizens). However, it also says that this is not an accurate measure of the city's minorities.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.