User talk:Sakare2000/sandbox

Hi Renata, great draft. You did a good job of working your edits into the existing article and your system of showing your additions in the sandbox is clear. I noticed that you deleted a good amount of content from the article, such as in the structure section. What was the reasoning for deleting instead of editing? Was it for style/flow or because information was inaccurate? I know we're discouraged from deleting large amounts of information, though from what I can see the removal is necessary. Maybe take a second look at what you've deleted to ensure there's no way to keep it in the article. I liked to see that you linked to other articles in your edits, and think that you picked good places to use the links to enhance the reader's understanding. One place I noticed you could improve was in the reception section, where some sentences could look biased. You did a good job of bringing in lots of outside opinions, but making sure to attribute the opinions to the source will keep it from appearing as if you hold the opinion yourself. For example, you conveyed that the book's positive reception outweighed the criticism, but it might be better to attribute that to an outside source instead of saying that yourself. Overall these were great additions to the article, and I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Kaden's peer review: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kIUrEgOl9kXMaw79U1PAXgVPkEPuDXSCilC0znaeNgw/edit?usp=sharing

What feedback did you receive on the article talk page or from your peer reviewers? - My peer reviewers gave me a lot of really great, helpful feedback that helped me eliminate some of the bias that remained in my edits.They also gave me basic suggestions on my sentence structure and helped me clarify some of the things I wrote.

Based on this feedback, how will you revise the new content you drafted? - I will reconsider deleting the original content in the article and will look for ways to revise it, rather than rewriting it from scratch. I will also make sure to insert all my citations, which I did not do in my draft.