User talk:Sam20151931/sandbox

Hello! you have done a lot of thorough research and have found a lot of good and interesting information. I think you probably have everything you need for a very good wiki article. I would recommend adjusting some things to cater to a reader with no medical background by using appropriate language and using links for harder language that can't be avoided. Once its formatted to wiki style this will be awesome!

Alex Johnson

Great use of external links. There is a lot of really thorough information here! I didn't know a lot of the disorders mentioned in the abstract, so maybe you could provide links to those as well (wiki or external), as you did with keratinization?

For the different sections, I would suggest making those headings. If you are on the edit tab, you can do this by going to the pull down tab on the top of the page that says "paragraph" and change that to "heading". I really liked that you were able to incorporate so much information onto your page. I think it may be hard to understand if you were a reader without a science background though.

Really great diagnosis section. Is Kryle disease another name for acquired perforating disorder or is that a separate disease? I saw you mentioned Kryle disease in several places.

Rebecca Johnson Rjohns81 (talk) 18:58, 8 November 2015 (UTC)Rjohns81

Sweiner02 (talk) 23:24, 17 November 2015 (UTC)
 * Is the background section supposed to be your abstract? If so, just leave out the title.
 * Abstract needs history information.
 * Links to other cites should be used as references.
 * Needs more links to other wikipedia pages.
 * All references should be entered as citations using the citation tool. If you don't know how to do this, ask for help.
 * Don't quote other sites. Make sure you are paraphrasing properly. I see a number of copy and paste items.
 * Make sure the writing is lay comprehensible. A lot of this is very dense and hard to understand.
 * There's lots of great information here. It just needs some work on organization, linking, referencing and paraphrasing, and it will be really helpful.
 * Diagnosis should read as what is done and what it tells you, not what a patient will experience or a doctor will perform. Generalize your language.
 * Why are you talking about the genetic one in causes if yours is acquired?
 * I don't think the subheadings in C&P are adding anything.
 * Talk about findings in recent research. The studies themselves should just be used as more references. Focus on results!