User talk:Samchaffe/sandbox

Beginning sentence, delete where it says name and draft. 'Collapsed' repeated twice at the start, swap it around so you dont have to say it twice.§

Check that you are using full stops in the right places.§

The second paragraph is not encyclopaedic and has opinion and persuasive text.§ — Preceding unsigned comment added by Emilyjnichols2 (talk • contribs) 10:05, 7 January 2020 (UTC)

Third paragraph was good but same applies as second paragraph.§ — Preceding unsigned comment added by Emilyjnichols2 (talk • contribs) 10:12, 7 January 2020 (UTC)

You have collected a wealth of information to write your article but there are problems with the lack of sources and references. Most of your text is copied and paste from The Guardian, Wikipedia, and other websites without giving it the right credit. This is an unfair practice in academia. On the other hand, for Wikipedia, you need to provide internal links and external links which you haven't. Also, the article needs structure, headints, subheadings, etc. so that you can facilitate the task of the reader. This text needs more work --CKuhnH (talk) 17:41, 1 February 2020 (UTC)