User talk:Samegbor

Welcome!
Hello, Samegbor, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:46, 12 September 2018 (UTC)

Hi Samegbor! I have drafts on my sandbox about the health effect on whey protein and is ready to post to the article. Would you mind come and take a look and let me know if you have any suggestions? Here is the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Yubl/sandbox Thanks and appreciate your effort! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Yubl (talk • contribs) 15:27, 15 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback

 * "However" implies a contrast, so it isn't the right word to use here.
 * You can't say "there are studies" without citing a source, and when it comes to making medical claims, you can't rely on studies which "suggest" some sort of an outcome.
 * You need to use a reliable source here. The U.S. Dairy Export Council is a trade body - their job is to convince people to consume more mild products. You need to use things like peer-reviewed journal articles, scholarly books, or textbooks as sources.

What you could do here is document usage - if, for example, it is recommended for people with HIV by some major medical society, you could say that. But you can't make medical claims based on "studies which suggest".


 * The first sentence here needs some serious copyediting. Right now, it isn't grammatically correct. It also makes factual claims, but doesn't include sources.
 * The second sentence could be much simpler - "whey protein does not have much effect on the immune system". It also raises concern about the previous information - if it doesn't have much effect, why is it recommended?

You should also bear in mind that whatever you add needs to mesh with what's already there in the existing article.

This section isn't appropriate for Wikipedia. These are health claims that need to be based on systematic review articles. The tone doesn't work either - it's promotional. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:58, 27 November 2018 (UTC)