User talk:Samjam830/sandbox

Good things
Each section has a good start. The breakdown of sections is good, the issue is clearly defined, then ideas for treatment are given, as a way to correct the problem, finally examples are given. Each section is pretty well written and easy to understand.

Factors to be considered
I changed the first sentence of this, it was confusing to me, I hope my change still conveys the same information, just more clearly.

Girls in the Juvenile Justice System
Possibly add how girls are treated now. Is their treatment supposed to be equal to boys?

Gender Responsive Approach For Girls in the Juvenile Justice System
Can this section be combined with another? Possibly with the treatment and response section

Human Trafficking
Is this meant to be the first sub heading under “trends”?

Canada?
Canada is listed in the lead section-are you going to add something on Canada? http://www.esc-eurocrim.org/files/ch02.pdf This article provides a little bit of background on the Canadian juvenile justice system, though it does not have much specifically on girls, it does state that girls were held in custody for “sexual immorality.”

Kjatczak (talk) 01:05, 6 November 2014 (UTC)

Things done well
•I think your four main topics are very well though out. They clearly define what the article is about, and goes into specific detail on the idea of gender distinction in juvenile courts.

•The factors to be considered and approach section are detailed with statistics and specific instances that help the overall understanding of the article.

•Great job of linking to other articles in Wikipedia that may need clarification.

•Overall structure is clear and helps the article flow in a from describing the topic, to responses of it.

Things to improve
• The one part that stood out to me the most, was the minimal information under the second heading Girls in the juvenile justice system. − I think one way this could help improve the article as a whole is describing differences in male juveniles vs female juveniles. I know you describe some differences throughout the article. But this sentence "The goal is make sure that girls are not being       detained and committed for crimes that would not result in similarly harsh treatment for boys." needs a source or example to back it up. •Adding more information to the second section will clear up the confusion as to what are the differences in punishment between genders.

Article proposal
I found an article online that is similar to some of yours already, but give more statistics on gender differences in the juvenile system, that can possibly help with adding more information in the second sub-heading.

Thefiveofus (talk) 19:11, 8 November 2014 (UTC)