User talk:Samnegrete/sandbox

Mainspace Writing Workshop
Child Care - Throughout the article you make lots of little changes that help grammer and clarification which is great! You have lots of little additions and sources spread throughout the article. Your biggest contribution is in the, 'In a Center' section, where you talk about how in center childcare facilities can greater expand their services by including their mission statement, expanding services to meet the needs of childs individually, and the different ways in which the childcare center can enrich the child's experience. I think this is really good, but has room for expansion, you could give examples for each of the things I listed about (mission statement, and such) would help the clarity of the article.

Merida, Yucatan -The addition you made in the Education section is very good. You have a source for almost each sentence, a good supporting statistic, and your tone is encyclopedic. This is a good solid block of information that brings to light inequalities in the education system in this area.

Dguar97 (talk) 00:20, 25 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi Sam! I was assigned to look through your articles. Here are my edits/thoughts!

I was going to suggest that you rename "in a center" and the other more informal headings that already exist, but I see that you are already doing that. I agree that this edit should be made, as the original title seemed unprofessional/non-descriptive.

Your addition of "multi-cultural care" is definitely an important topic and great idea!! For a reader with no knowledge on the subject though, it brings up a few questions for me that can perhaps help you edit and continue to synthesize. Are you speaking generally of all childcare facilities? The statistic you provide is a helpful gauge, but it says American children, so does this section pertain to the US? Also, not sure if this question is completely relevant, but are multi-cultural care facilities their own entities or just a new, inclusive approach to childcare that is being implemented? I am sure you plan to do this, but if not, I would definitely add the value of teaching cultural awareness to young children so that they will inherently be raised with this knowledge and cultural acceptance.

I see that you plan to "add a new subsection of childcare in Mexico". I think this is a very good idea, as it is seems to be the essence of your work and your PE.

There are two headings titled "History". Not that this affects the content of this article, but perhaps consolidating these two sections will make the article look more developed and cohesive.

I'm not sure if you have addressed this idea yet (or if i have overlooked a section in the article or your sandbox in regards to this topic), but have you considered discussing cultural or language barriers for children who are spoken to in one language at home, but spoken to in a different language while at daycare? Or, the effects on a child who is raised in one household with differing values/cultural norms than those held in daycare?

Under "Cultural Differences", I would hope to find this information, but this section focuses on childcare across cultures, not within cultures. This may be hard to write about objectively, but I think it would be really interesting to consider the challenges of a child who is raised in a strongly-cultured family but attends daycare in an American facility.

The sentence "Other factors of childcare that vary cross-culturally are the relative ages of both caretaker and child, parental expectations, demands of the child, culturally-varied conceptions of children’s maturity, and factors affecting demographic makeup.[17]" briefly mentions this occurrence, but if you feel this would be worth your time, I think it would provide interesting information to this article. This would definitely also tie into "Effects on child development". This all may be getting into more analytical research, though, so feel free to disregard this if you don't feel that Wikipedia is the best vessel for this information.

The article's section "Learning stories" seems a little jarring, or out of place in the article. I think you had also mentioned this in your own "Evaluating Two Articles section".

As far as your Area article goes, it is very broad. I see that you plan on adding a section on its Economy. I would suggest adding a little historical background and then writing the bulk of your contribution on the current state of Merida's economy. Perhaps add a link to your section "childcare in Mexico" when you write your section on Education.

You seem to have a very focused plan with a strong direction of where you want to go with your Wiki pages. You have already done your own very detailed and thorough anaylsis of your articles; really great job! Good luck with your edits and synthesis! gmousalimas (talk)

Peer Review - Jeshua
Hi Sam,

Here are some of my thoughts, hope they are helpful!

Child Care

I like the edits you made on the lead. I would also add the motor and speech development (unless you feel mental encapsulates this). For the sake of addressing Child Care as a balanced topic, there may be value in calling out data on accident or risk/fatality, especially when the child is outside of immediate paternal care. Aside from that, I do believe the lead reflects the article well.

I may be misunderstanding it, but this sentence under "Childcare article" isn't very clear--"This is due to their mental development being in a particular case of not being able to progress as it should be at their age." I'm not sure it connects particularly well with the sentence before. I like the addition of multicultural care, perhaps in this section too data can be collected to make it more concrete for the reader. I also think it would only help if you found more sources for this section.

The article sections are organized well, but there seems to be a lack of representation in the countries, there aren't many Asian, African, or South American nations represented. This clearly shows bias towards developed countries--when child care it is equally an issue of concern/development in developing countries. There is also probably more that can be written about these viewpoints, as the article seems to lack diversity of perspectives. There could also be value in some sort of cost breakdown for the different countries. Maybe at least you can add more on to the sub-section titled Mexico?

Reading your article made me think more about the intersection of ethnicity and homelessness, I'm not sure I have taken a good enough look into research at that intersection. I took a look at your sources, I think they look good, but it would also be helpful to have the link built in so a user can just click on it and access it, I would recommend doing that if possible.

I like that you are expanding on the benefits of center case through looking at research, maybe also presenting other research of how home based child care is beneficial would create more balance? I believe you do touch on this somewhat with the "Day Care Morality".

Mérida, Yucatán

Once again, the lead is pretty straightforward. I would try to keep consistency of using Mérida as opposed to Merida. I don't completely understand "Among other cities that share the same name around the world, it is the largest with the other three being in Spain, Venezuela, and the Philippines", is there a way you can make this more concise?

I'm wondering if you could expand more on "more negative attitudes with knowledge of the language", it would be beneficial to understand more about what situations/how this divide came about.

I really like the parts you added to education, "For the most part, private schools are located in the part of the city. The only students who attend these schools are those of high class and of non-maya descent." I would even add more information/detail to this, I think it is very important.

JeshuaKJohn (talk)

JeshuaKJohn (talk) 11:35, 20 March 2018 (UTC) JeshuaKJohn (talk) 20:19, 22 March 2018 (UTC) JeshuaKJohn (talk) 21:00, 22 March 2018 (UTC)