User talk:SarahAlMarri/sandbox

Wadha Al Mesalam's Peer review
A lead section

Aside from the fact that the page was titled Kuwait's Cinema, I felt like the page needed a more prominent and clear lead in order to understand what the page would entail, and it does not emphasize the importance of it. Additionally, after reading the entirety of the page

structure

The structure needs a bit of work in terms of bleeding into the next subcategory seamlessly, but that can easily be fixed and implemented through further editing and additions.

Coverage

Given that I am well versed in cinema within the region, I believe that there is much more content that can be added in order to achieve the balanced coverage that is desirable, however, the content thus far is extremely illuminating and interesting.

Neutral content

The language used it is well crafted and does not carry a bias outlook, therefore its neutral.

Reliable sources

As per mentioned in the article, I think some of the sources are not a 100 percent reliable, and reflecting on my group's topic which is Qatar Cinema, i understand that to an extent it is really hard to find reliable content within the MENA region and about it, but i think to an extent, good sources require a certain level of being able to gauge, because being familiar with the region allows you to know whether of not it is reliable information.

Looking at the Kuwait Cinema page overall, i think that to an extent the subsections need to be more seamless in their transition, the topic overall needs to have an overarching theme that groups all the subsections together.

there is a section that confused me at first, but after further reading i saw that it was a brainstorming section that will be removed later. however, at initial glance i was perplexed by it.

when it comes to what the article of wikipedia page is doing, it does not attempt to reinforce a point of view, and maintains a level of neutrality; which makes it well written, with a lot of potential going forward.

finally, i think that there are many things that can be utilized in our own article or in the construction of our own article is the space that allows us to brainstorm and explore ideas which is the article selection part of this wiki page; it seems to pull the ideas together or allows the group members to add and heighten the flow of content within the page as opposed to testing categories without a filtering system.

Mariam Kamal's Peer Review
The article did a great job of introducing and highlighting the importance of the topic in the world of Arabic cinema. The lead sentence of the article reflected the most important information presented and explained in the article, However, I would have liked to see more information and justification to why American or Hollywood films were the main ones played at Kuwaiti cinemas. Was it because the audience liked it and kept on demanding more or was it because of the lack of Kuwaiti productions?

The sections are well organized and are in a sensible order that is clear and understandable. There could be a lot more added to the section’s length because of Kuwait’s strong and prominent film history in the Gulf compared to other surrounding counties. When it comes to the perspective of the author, I would say that they have taken a neutral stance to the topic which makes it easier for the reader to decide and draw their own conclusions. There were also no particular claims on behalf of groups or people made in their article. The article did not either give a negative or positive outlook or information about their topic, rather presented facts and neutral information. For the sources used in the article, there were a couple of journal articles used which is great but there were a lot of websites used as well that are written by self-published authors which might be unreliable. They should consider replacing them with books and journal articles so that their article is more reliable and credible. There are statements that lack sources and have only been referenced once.

The article really captured the main important aspects of Kuwaiti cinema. I also really liked the way they mentioned and described the first feature films that were made in Kuwait. I would suggest they heavily expand the section of the Role of Women in Kuwaiti cinema because women had a huge role in Kuwaiti cinema and they were more liberated when it came to acting in the gulf. There are also a huge number of female figures that were prominent and still are in the Kuwaiti film industry that can be mentioned. They could also emphasize on how Kuwaiti cinema was the most advanced in the Gulf and how females contributing to feature films changed the game for cinema in Kuwait. There is more information that can be added and extended within this topic especially because Kuwaiti cinema was the first to flourish and break through the boundaries in the Gulf.

— Preceding unsigned comment added by MariamKamal2021 (talk • contribs) 10:32, 23 March 2019 (UTC)

Shaikha's Peer Review
A Lead Section

You have a good lead that engages readers into the history of Kuwaiti film and cinema. However, I feel like you dive straight into details such as Bas Ya Bahr, The Wedding of Zain, and Hayat Al-Fahad. I love that you mentioned them as they are significant to the development of Kuwaiti cinema but again, I felt like they were too detailed to be in the introduction since they have their own sections below. Instead, maybe you can give us more information about how the Kuwaiti cinema developed from premiering mostly American films to what it premieres today. Also, a very important note: it would be really helpful if you added dates in your introduction (when cinema was mostly American and when it transitioned/developed).

Structure

I admired that you structured your article by starting off with the first Kuwaiti film that initiated Kuwaiti cinema. It flowed smoothly as it gave us information in a sequential and historical manner. The transition from the two movies into Kuwaiti cinema and later censorship felt abrupt. I feel like there is a lot of room for additions and more information. Coverage

You did a great job in covering the two Kuwaiti films that initiated the development of Kuwaiti film. However, again, I feel like there is room for more information and newer sections. Some of your sections were informative but short, I am sure with further research, you will be able to find significant information. So far, I only know of Kuwaiti cinema in the past and how it initiated, however, where is it today? What is Kuwaiti cinema today? I would love to know what the Kuwaiti cinema culture is like now. In terms of the role of women in Kuwaiti cinema, there is room to add more content. The same goes with the censorship and regulation section. Neutral Content

The content is neutral and unbiased. There were no claims and the use of negative/positive information.

Reliable Sources

The sources that are used are reliable. It is difficult to find sources on Kuwaiti cinema. My group and I faced the same issue trying to find sources for the Cinema of Qatar since the cinema in this region is not as prevalent. In terms of the censorship and regulation section, there is room to add sources that link to the Kuwaiti censorship and regulation laws as well as the punishments.

Overall

Overall, I believe you did a good job of capturing readers' attention. It was interesting to read about how the Kuwaiti cinema initiated, however, it would make the article a lot more interesting if you discuss how that initiation carried on and developed into what Kuwaiti cinema is today. I really liked the section about the drive-in cinema. I would love to see more information and new sections (perhaps film production houses, cinema culture, etc.). I feel like the role of women in films is an interesting section and Hayat Al-Fahad is indeed a staple of Kuwaiti cinema, but I believe there are more roles and even portrayals of females in Kuwaiti cinema that could be touched upon. Also, minor note, there were a few spelling mistakes that disrupted (a little) the flow of the article. Other than that, well done and keep updating the article!

Prof. PK's Comments
Your peers have left very helpful feedback, some of which I will echo here. For starters, you need to work on streamlining the lead so that it both briefly summarizes Kuwaiti cinema and offers a helpful overview of the topics covered in the article. Indeed, some of the content you currently open with is fairly specific, and can be redistributed elsewhere in the article.

I'd like you to work on fleshing out your sections. For example: Your "History" section currently covers only a brief period in the 1970s. You need to address the before and after. Similarly, you need to mention more than one woman in the "Role of Women" section.

Note that you need to reformat as well: film titles and novel titles are always in italics, not quotes. Same with TV series titles. English translations of Arabic titles are helpful but should simply be in parentheses--no AKA.

You also need to work on sources and citations. Other Wiki pages are not appropriate sources, though you should link to them in-text where appropriate. Instead, seek more academic and/or news sources. You should also never have statements that are not supported by a citation. For example, you claim that censorship inn Kuwait does not pose a strong threat to Hollywood movies but you have no source to back it up, so it reads like personal opinion. If you don't have a reliable source to cite, remove!

Pkrayenbuhl (talk) 21:57, 31 March 2019 (UTC)