User talk:Sarahmarjoriesmith/sandbox

Assignment 3
Here is the article I'd like to write a lead for: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_hip_hop

The article describes the history, language, influences, styles, etc. of Turkish Hip Hop. The length of the article is sufficient, and each section is given adequate weight. The information is ordered correctly and the only thing that seems to be missing is the Lead. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarahmarjoriesmith (talk • contribs) 01:05, 24 February 2015 (UTC)

Turkish hip hop refers to hip hop music produced by members of the Turkish minority in Germany, and to a lesser degree by hip hop artists in Turkey. The Turkish minority, called the Turks, first drew inspiration from the discrimination and racism they received while living as migrant workers in Germany beginning in the 1960s. Turkish hip hop uses Arabesk music, a folk style that finds its roots in Turkey during the 1960s, and is influenced by the hip hop music of America and Germany. Album artwork, lyrical content, and the Turkish language are used by hip hop artists to express their uniquely Turkish identity.

The first Turkish hip hop album was recorded by the Nuremberg, Germany group King Size Terror in 1991. Islamic Force (now known as KanAK) is often recognized as the beginning of Turkish hip hop. Turkish hip hop is still used as an outlet for many who feel marginalized as Turks living in German society. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarahmarjoriesmith (talk • contribs) 16:01, 25 February 2015 (UTC)
 * The article does need a lead, but your draft is rather confusing. For example, why "ethnic groups of Germany"? First of all, it's just one ethnic group - the Turks. Secondly, why Germany? It must be made clear from early on that what the article calls Turkish hip hop started in Germany and still seems to mostly exist there. It's only slowly migrating to Turkey. So a good first sentence might be something like, "Turkish hip hop refers to hip hop music [add an internal link to hip hop] produced by members of the Turkish minority in Germany, and to a lesser degree by artists living in Turkey." Then go from there. Josef Horáček (talk) 06:36, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
 * In the future, don't delete early drafts of your work. Just post a new draft below the old one. The talk page should serve as a record of all your activities.
 * Your new draft is a great improvement! These are my suggestions: 1. Is "Oriental hip hop" an established term? If so, you should say "so-called Oriental hip hop" and supply an internal link. If it's not a commonly used term, stick with saying "Turkish hip hop" or just "hip hop." (In most circumstances, the word Oriental is nowadays considered old-fashioned and demeaning.) 2. Add an internal link to "Arabesk" and all the bands you list in the second paragraph if they have an article on WP. 3. Delete the extra "are" in the last sentence of the first paragraph. 4. You could even add internal links to things like Turkey, Germany, or Nuremberg. Josef Horáček (talk) 17:01, 3 March 2015 (UTC)

Assignment 2
This is the article that I would like to add sources to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_threshold

Here are the 4 articles I would like to add: http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=84139720&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=96764666&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2011-12319-013&site=eds-live&scope=site&profile=eds-main

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=pdh&AN=1957-04373-001&site=ehost-live&scope=site — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarahmarjoriesmith (talk • contribs) 20:41, 11 February 2015 (UTC)
 * This is a good choice as long as you're willing to do a good bit of writing. The article barely exists. Your sources look excellent, and if you're interested in the topic, it would be a worthy project. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:30, 12 February 2015 (UTC)

Here are the 4 sources I ended up using:

http://libezp.lib.lsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=pdh&AN=1957-04373-001&site=ehost-live&scope=site

http://web.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=26&sid=f06ad5c4-1310-4e1f-833b-9872659a01fa%40sessionmgr112&hid=118&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=a9h&AN=96044829

http://web.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=29&sid=f06ad5c4-1310-4e1f-833b-9872659a01fa%40sessionmgr112&hid=118&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=a9h&AN=31389429

http://web.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=31&sid=f06ad5c4-1310-4e1f-833b-9872659a01fa%40sessionmgr112&hid=118&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=pdh&AN=2014-30615-001 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sarahmarjoriesmith (talk • contribs) 21:09, 19 February 2015 (UTC)