User talk:Scaban2/sandbox

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I think this article is well organized and in a nice order. Nothing seems to be off topic. Maybe adding some disadvantages of the types of anti-rape devices that are brought up in the article would be helpful. I think it would add more meaning to the article. Also, if there are any specific experiences from people who have used these devices, it would be a good idea to add this in. Do they work? Are they dangerous to the person wearing them? Are they a hassle to use? Maybe there aren’t any disadvantages, but stating that as well would be useful.

The criticism section of the article gives some criticism on what society views these devices as, but I would like to know specific disadvantages of each device. For example, the Anti-Rape bra, would that shock the victim or just the aggressor?

The article seems to be well-balanced, and most of the references are legit. Reference number 3 and number 7 both take me to an error page, so that needs to be checked out!

Tland55 (talk) 13:19, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

The lead in is great. I think you introduced the topic in a way that was straightforward and not difficult to understand. Everything is flowing together and you've got a great balance on the points your making. You didnt over focus on one point which is awesome. I would try and make it have a little bit more feel to it though. It's great that it's straightforward but you dont want it to be choppy to where it's no emotion. Essentially i feel that in order for you to make people more aware of rape and then these rape devices, you may have to subtly attack their emotions. The structure is good, the separation of the different devices was a good idea, so in each paragraph the reader is just focused on that one particular device.

Touching back on your balance the only thing I would say is that I'm not sure that you spoke from all perspectives possible. You may feel that it was not necessary, but i feel it could not have hurt to discuss the benefits as well as dangers and complications. Your sources seem fine, i would still add another one to maybe back up your statements I recommended you add from different perspectives. Maybe you could possibly find interviews from victims.Justjoyy (talk) 04:21, 18 March 2016 (UTC)