User talk:Schmitt.ginny

Economics of Polygyny- -“ nobody seems to doubt that its occurrence is closely related to economic conditions.” This phrase is too informal and unsubstantiated. You might say something like “most scholars agree that polygyny is closely related to economic conditions”, so long as you can back it up with a good source. - “A report by the secretariat of the UN Economic Commission for Africa (ECA) affirms this point” Affirms gives the connotation that you are arguing your position, when you should just state facts. Therefore, it suffices to say that “A report.....concluded that:” -” an additional wife is an additional economic asset, which helps the family to expand its production.” This should be it’s own sentence, or be preceded by a semicolon.

Shifting Cultivation -” it appeared form a sample study that” Typo. -”men with one wife cultivated an average of 1.67 acres of land and a man with two wives” You should remain consistent with the usage of man or men. \ -” This is in female farming communities; a man with more than one wife can cultivate more land than a man with only one wife” Maybe I am not understanding the point of the word ‘this’ in this context, but it sounded more natural to me to say “In female farming communities, a man with more than one wife...”

West Africa Sierra Leone (This headline is strange, I would suggest “Sierra Leone, West Africa” or simply “West Africa” or “Sierra Leone”) -”a plurality of wives is an agriculture asset” an agricultural asset. -”since a large number of women makes it unnecessary to employ wage laborers.” There’s a verb or fragment missing here, it could read as “since having a large number of wives makes it unnecessary”. -”although households with large numbers of wives seem to have more or less disappeared in most of Africa, polygyny is still extremely widespread in rural Africa” Most of Africa is rural Africa, so you should specify that you’re taking about “urban households with large numbers of wives”, or revise the intention of the sentence. -” and is considered and economic advantage” Typo for the word ‘an’.

Desire for Progeny -”The desire for numerous progeny is no doubt the main incentive.” This should be backed up by a source, or said with less certainty. -”Where both desire for children and the economic considerations are at work.” Incomplete sentence. -”, a wife will naturally welcome one or more co-wives” Even though you precede this with reasons why a wife would accept co-wives, it’s presumptuous to think all wives “naturally welcome” co-wives. -”The second wife will almost be a servant to the first wife she is inferior to the first wife.” Needs a comma.

Women in Polygyny -” and general "modernization" it would appear that no African woman has written in praise of polygyny” This phrase needs a comma or to be split into two sentences.

Educating Women -”apparent in all age groups of women. Implying that the downward trend” Needs a comma, not to be split into two sentences. -”women with higher levels of education are less likely to accept being in polygynous unions because they perceive such relationships as being incompatible with their aspirations.” This sounds like it could use a source, otherwise you’re speaking for these women. -” violent physical confrontations become the order of the day among co-wives and their children” Order of the day sounds too colloquial. Maybe “can become routine”? -”The Expression of university educated” No capitalization of ‘expression’ needed. Also, I think you might mean the expressions? Also, I believe it should be ‘today’s women” with an apostrophe. -” Even those in polygynous unions, do not necessarily obey” No capitalization needed. No comma needed. Also, it’s a bit unclear who the subject is, so I would add “even subsequent wives in polygynous unions”, something like that.

HIV/AIDS -”Co-wives may not be equally faithful to the husband and even the husband may not confine himself sexually “ This is phrased like it is more reasonable to expect the wives to have affairs than the husband. Consider omitting the word “even”.

Feminist Perspective of Interventive and Affluent Polygyny in Sub-Saharan Africa

-”These are affluent polygyny and Interventive polygyny.” Capitalize both, or neither. -“only to the existence to the first type of polygyny.” I think you mean ‘only to the existence of..’ -” The attitude of polygyny appeared to have been firmly grounded on the theory of institutional evolutionism” could you add an in-text source? -” the first wife did not have a son or daughter, Or even if the first wife” No need to capitalize ‘or’.

Critics -”Some Western (feminist) of African polygamy (polygyny)” I think you forgot the word ‘critics’. -” The feminist appear to entertain the general assumption that under such a system childless and sonless women” The phrasing sounds unsubstantiated and the syntax is clunky. Consider a revision like “Some feminists assert that, within polygynous marriages, women who are sonless or childless” -” in African society especially in rural settings.” Should have a comma between ‘society’ and ‘especially’. -” The victims, such foreign feminist point out, are often dispossessed of their material belongings, accused of witchcraft, and isolated from the children of the community due to suspicion that they are dangerous to children! “ Feminist should be plural, and there’s no need for an exclamation mark. Maybe something like “The victims, foreign feminists point out, are often dispossessed..” -” The same feminist, also, often go to the extent of concluding” Again, feminists should be plural, and this sentence is a bit informal. “The same feminists often conclude that” sounds more formal. -”that "Interventive Polygamy" serves several purposes one of which” Because you haven’t used quotation marks when talking about interventive polygamy earlier, I wouldn’t use them here. Also, since you mention several purposes, I would remove the ‘one of which’, and just say ‘such as...’ -”appears to be a therapy to keep African women in a state of permanent insecurity in their marriages and seems to serve to control a difficult wife and used to spur women in into competitive relationships with one another.” This is kind of unclear and disorganized. Could you use commas instead of connecting the whole phrase with the use of the word ‘and’?

Corinthiandiosa (talk) 19:44, 24 April 2012 (UTC)Corinthiandiosa

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Contests
User:Dr. Blofeld has created WikiProject Africa/Contests. The idea is to run a series of contests/editathons focusing on each region of Africa. He has spoken to Wikimedia about it and $1000-1500 is possible for prize money. As someone who has previously expressed interest in African topics, would you be interested in contributing to one or assisting draw up core article/missing article lists? He says he's thinking of North Africa for an inaugural one in October. If interested please sign up in the participants section of the Contest page, thanks.♦ -- Ser Amantio di Nicolao Che dicono a Signa?Lo dicono a Signa. 01:37, 21 July 2016 (UTC)

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