User talk:Sdessa2/sandbox

Wingsuit flying -in the lead change the word superhero to batman

-change the wording at the begin of the second paragraph of the lead

-Change the wording in some lines of history ie, and hit the ground with his head, A film of his attempt exists.

-fix the typo jhon Carta to John Carta and include a wiki-link to his page

-commercial era- instructors Scott Campos, Chuck Blue and Kim Griffin, who are they? what is there expertise to train others?

-commercial era- include more of the evolution of the suits from 1999 to present day

-technical mechanics- break this section into the different mechanics of different types of jumps, ex. from BASE, Plane, etc.

-further developments- move wingsuit base section to technical mechanics
 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:18, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

Source Project
I SS Panzer Corps — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 20:42, 8 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 05:03, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

-Triumph of the Tanks

-Hell in the Hedgerows --Sdessa2 (talk) 23:35, 11 February 2015 (UTC)

-Mistakes and a language barrier changed the course and history of the Battle of the Bulge. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 23:48, 11 February 2015 (UTC)

-Desperate panzer counterattack at Debrecen.
 * Your sources look good. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:31, 16 February 2015 (UTC)

-Battle of the Bulge — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 21:13, 18 February 2015 (UTC)

-Stopping the Panzers: Reassessing the Role of 3rd Canadian Infantry Division in Normandy, 7-10 June 1944 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 00:44, 19 February 2015 (UTC)

-Operation Cobra: Prelude to breakout — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 01:13, 19 February 2015 (UTC)

lead
Croatia in the Kingdom of Yugoslavia — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 21:03, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

This article is broken up into 4 main parts, the formation of the Yugoslav committee, the Formation of the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes, the impact of the Formation of the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes, and the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. Each part is in the proper order as each section shows the transition of independent states to the formation of Yugoslavia and then the repercussions faced from the formation of Yugoslavia by the Croatian people. The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes section is a little subjective so I will have to conduct some research from a more credible point of view. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 02:26, 22 February 2015 (UTC)
 * A great project if you have the stamina for it. Be aware that it's potentially controversial, as there is still a good deal of animosity among the parties involved, and it appears that some of the contributors are residents of former Yugoslavia (or at least non-native English speakers). Finding neutral sources in English would be fabulous, but it's not required for this assignment. Do as you see fit. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:47, 24 February 2015 (UTC)

Rough Draft
Croatia became merged with Serbia and Slovenia to form the nation of Yugoslavia in 1918. The formation of Yugoslavia began with the formation of the Yugoslav Committee, a collection of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes whose goal was to form a single south Slavic state. In October of 1918 the Croatian Parliament declared the Kingdom of Croatia, Slavonia and Dalmatia as an independent state, which then merged with Serbia and was renamed Yugoslavia in December of the same year. After the formation of Yugoslavia, Serbia attempted to create a "Greater Serbia" by using police intimidation and vote rigging to establish a Serbian controlled Yugoslavia. From 1929-1941 Serbian controlled Yugoslavia established control over Croatia through Serbian police force brutality and assassinations of important Croatians. In response to the harsh law of Yugoslavia the Ustase, a radical revolutionary movement for an independent Croatia, was formed to break Serbian control over Croatia. In May of 1990 Croatia declared itself a sovereign state which lead to the Croatian war of independence against Serbian controlled Yugoslavia. In 1995 Croatian troops drove out the remaining Yugoslav People's Army forces and established itself as a free and independent nation from Yugoslavia. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdessa2 (talk • contribs) 18:17, 26 February 2015 (UTC)
 * A great draft. Comments: 1. "Establish" in the second-to-last sentence should be "established." 2. "Usurp" is not the right word in the last sentence. 3. Verify the spelling of Ustasha (click on the internal link). 4. Add a sentence that says when and how the Kingdom ended and what came after it. (Find an appropriate article on postwar Yugoslavia and add an internal link.) Josef Horáček (talk) 18:20, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Okay, now you took the end too far. At some point after WWII, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia became a republic. That's where the article (the lead) should end. Great job otherwise. Josef Horáček (talk) 04:11, 10 March 2015 (UTC)