User talk:Senior2019/sandbox

Peer review edits Header/ Lead: added a header (title) to the article to separate it from the annotated bibliography. Adding a transitional sentence in the lead. :

Original: “Fireboat: the heroic adventures of the John J. Harvey, a picture book both written and illustrated by Kalman. It won the annual Boston Globe–Horn Book Award for Nonfiction in 2003.[1]”

Edited: For instance, her picture book Fireboat: the heroic adventures of the John J. Harvey, can be found in the World Cat Library (use wiki link as you did prior). This book is also noted for winning a Boston Globe–Horn Book Award for Nonfiction in 2003.[1]

Overall review: the lead is good, but needs a bit more editing for clarity. I think it is clear in describing who she is and drives the point home by mentioning her work and an award she received for her work. The source seems legitimate and unbiased and also proves to be one that is reliable.

Early life This section is in content good it highlights her birthplace, where she originated from and where she studied. In terms of grammar everything flows together nicely, but add more to where she studied for collage: For instance: She attended New York University. When studying here, she received a bachelor's (BA) in the field of English

Reliable sources: change the link from this sentence, it goes to a dead link. “Born in Tel Aviv, Kalman came to New York City with her family at the age of k 4.[2] “ Link to correct the citation: https://juliesaulprojects.com/highlight/maira-kalman/the-autobiography-of-alice-b-toklas

Overall Review: the only thing i would fix within this section is to add what she studied in (english)  NYU, to grow the point of her success. In terms of reliable sources and balance and neutrality, this section does that well. It does not point a favor to Kalman, or dislike for her but instead gets straight to the point. The reliable sources all seem to be, well reliable but the only thing is that one leads to a dead link.

Career Correcting the use of the quote: "I wanted to be a writer and that's something that I always thought that I would do," don’t actually use a quote, but instead paraphrase the quote.

- Instead write: as mentioned in an interview with Grapevine, Kalman notes how she always had a passion for writing, and that this is a field she was always interested in. ( then cite the article as you did with the quote.

This claim : “ Kalman has written a series of children's books about Max Stravinsky, the poet-dog. She created the sets for the Mark Morris Dance Group production of Four Saints in Three Acts, an opera by Virgil Thompson and Gertrude Stein.” needs a citation, pull a book in which she did write for max and use that as a citation.

The sentence: Kalman's children's book titled, "Fireboat: The Heroic Adventures of the John J. Harvey" released in 2002, captures the event of New York City's horrific, tragic and most emotional day in history. September 11, 2001, a date that can never be forgotten, brought terror to the city as flames filled the air. John J. Harvey's role in the World Trade Center attack was critical to the event, being the biggest, fastest and strongest boat that day. This book educates many young individuals who may not have been around at the time,.[9]

Is biased because of the adjectives used to describe the event, it can be safely assumed that it was bad without writing that.

Try phrasing it in the way: Kalman's children's book titled, "Fireboat: The Heroic Adventures of the John J. Harvey" released in 2002 is a piece in which focuses on New York City's more recent terror attack on the twin towers. September 11, 200, marks the day in which the twin towers fell. The role that the boat John J. Harvey's served for  the World Trade Center attack was being one of the first responding boats arriving to the attacks that day. This book educates many young individuals who may not have been around at the time to have experienced this terrorist attack.[9] This book actively describes the history behind Harvey and the importance of this day.

The phrase : Ms. Kalman, is rather incorrect. Just refer to her by her first and last name or last name. For this I would personally just refer to her by Kalman, because you've used her whole name a number of times prior to it, so the reader knows who she is.Also, introduce this aspect since it's a new paragraph:

“ Another piece that Kalmas wrote is the monthly illustrated blog The Principles of Uncertainty for the New York Times for one year, ending in April 2007”, Also the link is dead i think the link you meant to cite is : https://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/1194817101063/the-principles-of-maira-kalman.html?searchResultPosition=1 Cite the actual book after this sentence: The blog was published in a book of the same title, which was released in 2007 to critical acclaim. Use this link : https://www.mairakalman.com/books/adult/the-principles-of-uncertainty/#1

Cite this: During 2009, Kalman wrote another illustrated blog in the New York Times called "And the Pursuit of Happiness" ( use the link I'll provide to link those words)  about American democracy. The blog was published as a book in 2010.

Link to add into the words”: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8450221-and-the-pursuit-of-happiness

Use this as a cited piece at the end of the sentence: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/306482/and-the-pursuit-of-happiness-by-maira-kalman/

Cite this sentence: The two went on to collaborate on a series of illustrated books like “Standing on a lawn” published by The Museum of Modern Art. with this link https://www.moma.org/explore/inside_out/2014/03/20/standing-on-a-lawn-with-maira-kalman/

Coming *in* (write-in) November 2019, Kalman's publications will be exhibited in Amherst, Massachusetts at The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art[17] until April 2020. This exhibit will capture Kalman's career for others to learn about her work through an educational experience.

The Elements of Style, The Frist Center for the Visual Arts, Nashville, TN (cite this go onto the website and then pull her working on it) : or replace it with this exhibition https://fristartmuseum.org/calendar/detail/maira-kalman

For the rest of the exhibits, do the same, pull citations from the website of the museum that the exhibition was in or through searching the piece and the exhibition titles in quotes, or the museum's name and the artist's name.

Overall content review: I personally believe this is a solid article, i love the way it narrates Kalman’s life and the way it highlights her work. The changes ive made/ pointed to are just minor details that would make this article even better and highlight the information that this article’s content is pointing to. I think there needs to be a little more work added to it by these contributions but in all i think this is nearly complete.

Lisacalabro92 (talk) 16:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)LisaCalabro92