User talk:Sensei asakai

Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (August 8)
 Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Dan arndt was:

The comment the reviewer left was:

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.


 * If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to User:Sensei asakai/sandbox and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
 * If you now believe the draft cannot meet Wikipedia's standards or do not wish to progress it further, you may request deletion. Please go to User:Sensei asakai/sandbox, click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window, add "db-self" at the top of the draft text and click the blue "publish changes" button to save this edit.
 * If you do not make any further changes to your draft, in 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
 * If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:WikiProject_Articles_for_creation/Help_desk&action=edit&section=new&nosummary=1&preload=Template:Afc_decline/HD_preload&preloadparams%5B%5D=User:Sensei_asakai/sandbox Articles for creation help desk], on the [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Dan_arndt&action=edit&section=new&nosummary=1&preload=Template:Afc_decline/HD_preload&preloadparams%5B%5D=User:Sensei_asakai/sandbox reviewer's talk page] or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Dan arndt (talk) 04:37, 8 August 2019 (UTC)

Suggestions on pre-publication article
Hi Sensai asakai, Great you are bringing new Australian Indigenous knowledge into Wikipedia. The article is still rough in terms of accuracy, research and polish. The performance group is named Unbound Collective not Sovereign Acts. ‘Sovereign Acts is the name of a series of performances that began in 2014 with Bound and Unbound: Sovereign Act 1 and continues in 2019 with ‘Sovereign Acts IV: Object” (see web article https://www.mca.com.au/stories-and-ideas/unbound-collective-national-2019/). The Lead Section doesn't summarise or give much context at the moment. The first sentence is not clear: Sovereign Acts is name of the performance series not the group. The group is called the Unbound Collective. Capitalisation is erratic. I edited ‘sovereign’ into Sovereign’ there are others eg. colonisation is only capitalised at start of a sentence, similarly with ‘historically’. There are occasions where value statements or expressions are used “cutting edge” artistic performances – is there an independent source that says this? “powerful sovereign position” the first word is a value judgement; the second word may not mean much to a general international audience. Ideally seek out other sources to explain what this is. The flow of information is uneven. Sub headings might help: 'members of Collective'; 'performances' for example. JaneHaggis 21:37, 20 October 2019 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by JaneHaggis (talk • contribs)

User:Sensei asakai/sandbox


Hello, Sensei asakai. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or draft page you started, User:Sensei asakai/sandbox.

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been deleted. If you plan on working on it further and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it. —&thinsp;JJMC89&thinsp; (T·C) 01:03, 5 May 2020 (UTC)