User talk:Serrekunda62/Gambian Americans/Arboyle Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Serrekunda62


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Serrekunda62/Gambian_Americans?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gambian Americans

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * Good update with Census data
 * Update to official country name
 * Question: Why did you include this addition, "living in the United States who are involved in activities ranging from business and entrepreneurship to college education"? I only ask because it seems limiting. Is that the only things people from the Gambia are doing in the US? I would suggest stopping after, "living in the United States" or include ""living in the United States according to 2020 US Embassy data."
 * Additional ethnic groups added with links to wiki pages
 * Great update with the GAA data

History


 * theSenegambia -- you deleted a space here. I didn't want to add it back in in case this has been posted anywhere else
 * In the "Modern Times" Section where it says, "Many of them migrated to Chicago." - You could add in the additional updated from the GAA data you added in the lead.
 * This is a sentence fragment from the original version, "It is also remarkable the United Gambians Association (UGA)." That wasn't updated in your version if you want to change it.

This was really interesting to read! I hope the edits were helpful. Sorry they came in late! Arboyle (talk) 04:58, 27 April 2021 (UTC)