User talk:Sev0500/sandbox

Great set of references to work from. Now, where are you going? What thoughts are you entertaining?PsycTeacher (talk) 17:37, 6 July 2015 (UTC)

Great work here! Can you find an article that provides empirical evidence (EBP) that an enriched environment impacted child outcomes? That would really top this off. I think a potential good source could be Hart, B., & Risely, T.(1995). Meaningful differences in the everyday experience of young American children. Brooks Publishing. Our library has this book. It is non-experimental, but excellent evidence that there are different levels of performance in language and IQ related to environmental factors. If you have better, experimental articles, go with those. PsycTeacher (talk) 19:21, 10 July 2015 (UTC)

I am impressed your your effort and accuracy. I made a few typographical and grammatical changes. Please be sure to sign your work with four tildes. PsycTeacher (talk) 14:38, 13 July 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for your feedback! I am out of the country right now and my internet access is not as good as I had expected, but I am working on my projects. I will research the book you suggested as soon as I get back.Sev0500 (talk) 21:58, 13 July 2015 (UTC)

Your article flows well. The only suggestion I have is using a more general noun or third person pronoun to replace the use of 'we, 'our,' 'you' and 'your.' But, I am unsure if this is a big deal for Wikipedia articles. I know it is an issue for academic writing. An example of what I mean is inserting the words I have in parenthesis: "The Hebbian theory of learning implies that every experience we (a person) encounter[s] becomes set into our (his or her) network of brain cells. Then, each time a certain action or thought is repeated, the connection between neurons is strengthened, changing your (his or her) brain and strengthening the learning. You are, in essence, training your brain. (An individual is, in essence, training his or her brain.) The more challenging new experiences you have and practice, the more new connections you create in your brain, (More practice with challenging and new experiences creates more new connections in the human brain)."M02000297 (talk) 00:33, 15 July 2015 (UTC)

M02000297 I agree with your comments and am working on that now. Thanks!Sev0500 (talk) 15:00, 15 July 2015 (UTC)

Peer Feedback
Nice work! Your article is neutral and easy to read. There are some complicated ideas in that second paragraph, but I think you made them simple enough to understand. Good job! :) I like the connection of Head Start with your theorist. That’s really interesting.

There are only a couple corrections I can suggest. There is one place in that third pargraph in which Head Start is not capitalized. The only other grammar thing I noticed was in your first paragraph, second sentence. The sentence after the semicolon is a fragment, and semicolons connect two complete and related sentences. I would say either replace the semicolon with a comma or keep the semicolon and make the second part a complete sentence. Those are my only criticisms, and they are minor.

I think you're doing an awesome job! :) Hc horton (talk) 03:51, 20 July 2015 (UTC)

Review and Placement
@PsycTeacher: I added a paragraph on the Hart and Risley book, made some grammar changes and believe that my article is ready for your review and placement. Sev0500 (talk) 14:58, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

Final Review
Nice job! You are ready to move. Go for it! PsycTeacher (talk) 00:41, 23 July 2015 (UTC)

I added the new section to the article and added a sentence in the lead section. I also documented this on the article's talk page. Sev0500 (talk) 13:52, 23 July 2015 (UTC)