User talk:Shazia.RR/sandbox

Some nice evaluation work here, Shazia.

A little more information on precisely which sentences are hard to follow would be helpful.

I agree that Deevy’s style of writing (including themes, forms, influences etc) could be developed, as could the biographical detail, and information on her work for the radio.

I also thought the article would benefit from some further description of individual works, as well as from some information on reception of her plays.

Luckily, there are many excellent academic sources out there on Teresa Deevy that can help you to develop the article in these ways.

I like the idea to add more photos and illustrations – but please remember that you need to get permissions for any images you use.

Nice work in checking the links and evaluating the sources. You are right that the Tripod blog is not a great source for this article. The NUIM archive, however, is quite a balanced source, as it is a university archiving project that aims to make her writing widely available.

If you choose to work on this article for your final project, it would be best to find peer reviewed academic work on Deevy’s life and work to include and improve the article.

EmerOToole (talk) 16:56, 3 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hey! You did a great job with the evaluation but there's another problem with the sources. Aside from the fact that there isn't many, none of them seem to come from heavily researched books about her or that relate to her, written by experts, which could provide some little know informations about her life and/or work.

Your draft is pretty good too but I noticed a few gramatical mistakes. Make sure to run your article through a software like Antidote and reread it once or twice to see if you make it a bit more cohesive. A few sentences could be reworded to look a bit more like the what you read on the article, they feel a bit familiar to me. It could be a tinsy bit more 'official' sounding.

I also wonder about your sources. It doesn't look like you added any informations so is your draft supposed to be the lead of the article? If so, it sounds great and it's a nice summary of the article. I'm sure you could add a few more little things about her in that section once you ass more substance to the overall Deevy article.

Great work, keep working like that!

Ard Le Roux (talk) 18:52, 15 October 2018 (UTC) Ard Le Roux

Hi

Some lovely work here. Just a note to encourage you to provide references for most of your claims. I was also unsure why Deevy's father's death would make her more dependent on her family home. Looking forward to seeing you develop this! EmerOToole (talk) 17:40, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Just a note to remind you to start working the feedback above into the material in your sandbox. Remember that this is a graded part of the assignment. Please finish it by the end of the week, as it is significantly overdue. Failure to do so will affect your grade.EmerOToole (talk) 19:02, 8 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Some good work here - i think the restructuring for biography works well. I like the new paragraph on nationalist involvement, but there's no need to split it in the middle the way you current have.

As per my previous comments, I still don't understand why Deevy's father's death would make her more dependent on the family home. Maybe cut this line, as it requires more explanation than really necessary here.

Radio and Television doesn't need a "The" in the title.

The section on literary themes should go before the lists of works, I think. "Life of drudgery" would be better than "life of drudgery in a factory" as it would encompass more of her plays. "With its set of struggles" not "with it's set of struggles"

Address these issues, then go ahead and make the changes on the main page.EmerOToole (talk) 02:53, 7 December 2018 (UTC)

Hi

If these changes are not made on the main page as opposed to on your talk page, you will receive a significantly lower mark for your work. Please make these changes today, as I am nearly ready to post the grades for your class. EmerOToole (talk) 21:11, 10 December 2018 (UTC)

Hi I've made the changes as I moved the writing to the Main Article page ! Shazia.RR (talk) 22:25, 10 December 2018 (UTC)Shazia.RRShazia.RR (talk) 22:25, 10 December 2018 (UTC)