User talk:Shermasd202054/sandbox

Team 2 Review
1. One thing that this article did well was the use of statistics when talking about alcohol use in the homeless community. It uses evidence to backup what they are trying to express. One aspect in the article that described the subject in a clear way was the beginning of the article when they used a "hook" to grab the attention of the audience. 2. One thing that this article could do better, is add subtitles and information underneath those subtitles to help give the article a better flow when reading and help divide the information into the correct spaces. Another important thing about this article is that the topic of it isn't pointed out clearly; it could be about homelessness or gambling or both. This could be addressed with the use of titles and adding to those subtitles. 3. The most important thing to do to improve this article is incorporate the quotations at the bottom of the page into the article. These quotes are just placed at the bottom without context and could be great at supporting surrounding information when needed. 4. Overall, the topic of homeless could be applied to our article about Alliance, Ohio.

Team 4-Peer Review Comments
- spell out the word eight in the first sentence - Add statistic for first sentence - WATCH COMMAS OR ADD THEM - "the use of alcohol contributes..." needs more work and flow better - Delete the word "indeed" - Fix transitions between alcohol and gambling within the second paragraph - Add more evidence backing up your information throughout the whole thing...where is it coming from? -Comma between other and according to - Sources used are out of date, maybe try to find more current sources - If this page is about addiction, then there needs to be an introduction about addiction and then go into how alcohol and gambling can be a problem associated with addiction, it would make things flow a lot better and help with understanding — Preceding unsigned comment added by Allieboschini (talk • contribs) 19:00, 2 April 2019 (UTC)