User talk:Siarra360/sandbox2

05/16/2019 Evaluation by sograves

 * Points: 34.5/40
 * Grade: 86.3%

Spelling/Grammar
Nearly meets standard Grammatically sound, but there are a few hiccups. For example, you misplaced a comma in “2,00,000.” Also, “Most of these languages have Italian influence, but are not limited to French influences as well” doesn’t make much sense. Perhaps you meant that they’re not limited to Italian influence and have French influence as well?

Language
Does not meet standard Nailing the distant encyclopedic diction, but the seems off—some light rewording and you should be good. In the first sentence, for example, you can remove the “Italy” from “Milan, Italy.” Article readers are gonna know where MIlan is. As Taylor suggested, merging some of your sentences together to vary sentence length will help with tone.

Organization
Nearly meets standard Second paragraph reads almost as a general demographics paragraph. Bump the last part to the front and end with demographics maybe?

Coding
Meets standard

Validity
Nearly meets standard A lot of good info, but the “Milanese is considered the most prestigious of the 12-15 non-recognized regional languages” part rubbed me the wrong way. Who considers it so prestigious?

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard

05/15/2019 Evaluation by Swiftkick98

 * Points: 33.5/40
 * Grade: 83.75

Spelling/Grammar
 Nearly meets standard All of your spelling and grammar looks good, however I would try to vary sentence length when you can. Also, I think you mistyped one of your statistics because it says "Milanese regional language is spoken by the 2,00,000 residents..."

Language
Does not meet standard Your tone is fairly good encyclopedia tone, but like I said above, the sentences read a little choppy and I would try re-working some where you can to get varied lengths. The last few sentences of paragraph one for example. Additionally, I was confused with the sentence "Most of these languages have Italian influence, but are not limited to French influences as well." Maybe try re-wording that so it makes a little more sense.

Organization
Does not meets standard. Your paragraphs have a flow to them, however I was confused as to why I got all the background information on Italy's residences, economics and immigration until you tied it in with the immigrants bringing different language points. Maybe consider pairing that beginning section down, but that might be tricky trying to keep all your sources.

Coding
Meets standard Everything looks formatted well to me

Validity
Does not meet standard. Your sources and information seem to be valid, but I did see that it gave me (I'm not sure what you see on your end) a red 'URL missing' message for your source #9 "8 Italian accents" from Youtube. I also worry about the reliability of that source; just something to think about!

Completion
Meets standard. You have two well formed paragraphs that seem an appropriate length, good job! Also, you have the correct number of sources, I would just double check that they are put in correctly and that they qualify as a quality source for this assignment (the video might not).

Relevance
Meets Standard Everything is concise and represented in an easy, readable way!

4/23/2019 Evaluation by Sograves
Spelling/Grammar:

Nearly meets standard. Ending each bullet point with a semicolon looks weird. I'm not sure it's technically wrong, but it looks sure looks better to end it with a period! Also, the second bullet point could use some rewording.

Language:

Meets standard. The second bullet point is really the only thing holding this back. A retooling would make it great!

Organization:

Meets standard.

Coding:

Perfect, exceeds standard (as far as I can tell).

Validity:

Exceeds standard. Lots of good, solid info!

Completion:

Meets standard. The original section talks about airports, and you expand upon that. Some of the other questions you had about air travel might be worth diving deeper into. Like, how many people travel by air in Brussels in general? Or something like that, your edits are solid as is!

Relevance:

Meets standard.

Sources:

Exceeds standard. Good, solid sources, and lots of them to boot (and also rick steves!!)!

Citations:

Does not meet standard. Citations always go at the end of a sentence, even if it's a compound sentence. It looks weird, but it's perfectly correct to have two citations right next to each other if you're citing multiple sources in a single sentence.

References:

Meets standard. Pretty sure it's all solid.

38.5/40 by my evaluation. 96%!

6/7/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 16:39, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

With some double-checking and revision, this would be a good addition to Wikipedia. There is one sentence and some sources that need to be cut, however. Also, the references need to be spruced up a bit.
 * Points: 35/40
 * Grade: 87.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.
 * "Italian is based on 14th century Tuscan language and originally used only for literary purposes." Need to add 'was' in there.
 * "...people who migrate to Milan have added..." verb tense conflict.

Language
Nearly meets standard.
 * "...that are often incorrectly called 'dialects.'" You might not want to take sides in this debate, since the differences between languages and dialects are dependent upon definition, rather than an objective empirical given. Perhaps say, 'debatably called dialects'.
 * "...residents if you include..." formal language should omit the first or second person.

Organization
Nearly meets standard.
 * You don't mention it, but I take it that your new paragraphs will essentially break up the current Languages and literature section into two sections, one for language and another for literature.
 * The organization of these paragraphs is a bit strange. You might want to break it into three subsections: Italian, Milanese dialects, and imported languages.

Coding
Meets standard. You should hyperlink to important and relevant concepts in your paragraphs that are not already in the preceding text in the article. For example: Romance language, which then should not have quotation marks.
 * If you're going to create a new language section, then you'll want to have a tag under the new header.

Validity
Meets standard.
 * "...non-recognized regional languages..." Would the languages of immigrants be considered 'regional' languages, if they're by definition not actually from the region?
 * "...but to French influences..." Without wading through your sketchy sources (CIA factbook and a YouTube video), I have to say that I am skeptical. Is Milan really being overrun by francophone immigrants, where traditionally it was France that had more Italian immigrants? This probably needs to be double-checked and possibly reworded.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Nearly meets standard.
 * "It's the main economic and industrial hub of the area; furthermore, Italy is the 3rd largest economy in the Euro-zone." This sentence is irrelevant to this section.