User talk:Sierra.french/Suicide Among LBGT Youth

Reevaluate the tone in the paragraph that was added to and clean up the plans for reformatting to add clarity as to what steps could be made in the future to add clarity to the page.TPat25 (talk) 22:54, 21 April 2021 (UTC)

Initial small change in the first sentence in bold, where you say "like school administrators" I would change "like" to "such as" it just makes the other suggestions flow a little better. Are you intending to write about family support? this could be a great idea! --Sstorm21 (talk) 00:03, 29 April 2021 (UTC)

Comments
Nice additions, Sierra. A few suggestions to consider. It seems to me that the line previous top the first one you have added does not really add much substance, whereas the bit that you are adding is more substantive, though it could be more specific than "on such issues." And this line could use a reference as well. The second sentence you add actually might be better broken into two in order to clarify each point.

The list of suggestions you offer as possible additions to the talk page are not all as clear as they might be in terms of where you think they belong. You will want to clarify each more fully. Finally, it seems to me that the addition of the family support section that you suggest would be a welcome addition with proper citations. --Jbdolphin (talk) 05:57, 11 May 2021 (UTC)