User talk:Simoneta Reliz/A’s LGBTQ+ Communication and: Mental health, Patient and Provider Communication, and Health Disparities

Dr. E Review
A, see my feedback in Canvas. I appreciated how you got started thinking about all of your sections. These will need more development to add more specifics, avoid editorializing, and making clear topics. OsaRosa (talk) 07:09, 16 April 2024 (UTC)


 * (OsaRosa) Thank you for your feedback, I think you touched great grounds for improvement on my sandbox. I will make sure to replace that source, to add more detail, to add more sources, and amplify my introduction sentences. Thank you once again, greatly appreciated! Simoneta Reliz (talk) 18:34, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

A's Review
The topics sounded pretty specific like how men are getting less attention when it comes to health issues. This seems well represented. Heterosexism is a term I think would be defined or coined whatever wiki does to link this. There should generally be a few more sentences that describe the topics which would help spread the citations apart. Gen-Asher (talk) 16:52, 16 April 2024 (UTC)


 * Gen-Asher, Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the comments and I think they are great advice. I will make sure to make some changes and do better. Your comment on how heterosexism is a term that could be defined resonated to me, and I will make sure to look into that. Simoneta Reliz (talk) 18:07, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

B's review
Hi @Simoneta Reliz, I think what is needed is to be more intentional with your wording to properly explain the ideas you are writing about. Currently, the text in the sections read bit too general and vague. For example, "Many parents are not going that extra step for their children who need it the most." Where is this claim being made? What kind of parent involvement are you talking about? How does it relate to LGBTQ+ Communication studies? I think clearly identifying that relation would be helpful as well.

Also I suggest checking out pg. 8 of this PDF, for examples of encyclopedic writing. I think it might be helpful to look at and apply the style to your draft content. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:13, 19 April 2024 (UTC)