User talk:Siobhanquigg/sandbox

Hello, I enjoyed reading and learning from your post, I had no idea that Industry Canada’s name was changed! I think you have done a through job in terms of research and including a variety of recent resources to your citations. The article is neutral and the ideas are not under/over presented. I see a good flow and balance throughout the post. I have listed what I find with potential for improvement: A) Upon the November 2015 installation of the 29th Canadian Ministry, led by newly-elected Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the position of Minister of Industry was re-named Minister of Innovation, Science, and Economic Development, and Industry Canada was subsequently re-named Innovation, Science and Economic Development Canada.34 The above sentence needs some adjustments so it can read smoother. a. led be THE newly-elected Prime … b. the position of Minister of Industry was re-named TO….. c. end the first sentence and start with: Subsequently Industry Canada was re-named to…. I think the first sentence is too long and has a few grammar mistakes which makes it difficult to read. B) Adding a short blurb about the officials and structure section will add more context as to what the reader is supposed to learn from that section. C) Add a short blurb to the Agencies, boards and offices section to describe broadly why they exist. D) In text citations start from number 2. I couldn’t find the first one. All the best!

Zara

Peer Review response

Hi Zara, thanks very much for your feedback! I have made a few changes based on your comments. However, I'm not able to identify which citation you're having trouble finding. Can you provide some more detail so I can try to fix this issue? Thanks! Siobhanquigg (talk) 13:35, 14 July 2018 (UTC)