User talk:Sjt0238/sandbox

Writing Overview

 * Style - Try to make your bullet points make sense. Right now, a lot of your bullet points have most of the ideas that you're wanting to write down but they could use a little more detail on each of the bullets.
 * Tense - The rest of the article is written in the past tense. Revise your points to reflect this.
 * Bullet Points - Condense these wherever possible. If the points are really similar, keep them together in one cohesive sentence.

Overall Understanding

 * The bullet points, so far, have focused on what each Plank focused on. However, these points don't have that strong of a connection to the Convention. About halfway down the list I almost forgot what I was reading. One thing you can do to cement the idea that this is what the National Women's Convention was supporting/urging for these changes would be to turn these bullet points into small paragraphs instead of bullet points. Nothing long just two or three sentences under each. This way the reader understands what and who wanted the changes.

Possible Additions
Student 4923 (talk) 17:15, 26 March 2019 (UTC)
 * The introductory paragraph for the Plan of Action states that of the 26 Planks only 17 were adopted by the convention. After the list, you could add a closing paragraph for the list that mentions the Planks that weren't adopted.

Peer Review
You have done great work on this topic! However, I am a little confused if the page is about 1977 women's conference or the national plan of action. Maybe add more information related to the conference, as the other peer reviewer mentioned. I would suggest adding more information about how the national plan of action was carried out during the conference-like how they discussed certain planks in the conference, more information on who opposed some planks and why, reasons why certain planks were not accepted. You can also add information on how a certain woman who attended the conference contributed to the national plan of action. Srp027 (talk) 03:37, 8 April 2019 (UTC)