User talk:Slrisden/Ghulam Rasool Birhamani

First of all, great information!

If I could make a few suggestions to improve your Wiki article I would say that first clear up the dates, just make them look a little more put together and professional. In the death segment I would say that to write a little more clearer and talk a little more about who killed him and why. I would also focus a little more on Lashari Tribe and what exactly outraged the someone enought to kill the journlaist. In the impact segment I would say just to talk a little more about what he meant to the journalism world and what his contribution were to make him worthy of a Wiki article.

-Jazmine Kellum

Off to a great start! You have a lot of good information.

After reading through it all and comparing it to the rubric, there were a few minor things I took note of. In your picture information box, I think you meant to put "unknown" in regards to birthdate; you put "if known", so I just wanted to make you aware of that. As far as your intro and context goes, you have a lot of great information and didn't leave me asking any general questions about your journalist. I did notice that your Impact, Personal and Career sections need to be sourced. The information in those sections are good, but need more notability. As far as your references go, it all looks well organized and easy to follow. I think you're off to a great start and wish you luck on publishing your article (:

Sgschmitt11 (talk) 02:36, 6 October 2011 (UTC)Sgschmitt11

For starters, youre information section though good could be organized and formatted better. I liked the information used in the death section. It covered all the 5w's. I think your information in the context section is excellent, though i feel as if your first sentence could be more appropriate in the personal section. The backing of Bob Dietz(Program Coordinator of Committte to Protect Journalist) was very power and showed the impact of this phenomenon. Though I do think that you could have streamlined this article by combining the impact and reaction sections. The short personal section is understandable due to the lack of personal information that seems to be available with these journalists. Lastly, your links and references appear to be formatted correctly. Great article!!!

Marko Maven (talk) 08:19, 7 October 2011 (UTC)