User talk:SmoothGenau

Hoya Saxa!! Ilovedisneyland11 (talk) 15:18, 1 February 2012 (UTC)

Feedback on sandbox edits
I think this is a good start! You should omit the “Introduction and Plans” section as that is a statement of what you are going to do to the article; it doesn’t belong in the article itself. There are also a number of sentences that fall into the same category. For instance: “Creating this historical view gives the article breadth to accommodate its depth.” This is a comment on how you are improving the article, so it doesn’t belong in the article text.

The “Negro Leagues and Jackie Robinson” section is a good addition to the article.

There’s already a golf section, although you can certainly add what you’ve written to that part of the article. (You could also incorporate the two incidents from the actual article into your golf section, as your text is a good introduction to the golf section in general.)

It sounds like you might be considering a different organization for the article altogether—right now, the article is basically a list of incidents; it sounds like you might be leaning towards a “History” section followed by sections for each sport.

Finally, you might change the title of “Bibliography” to “Further reading” to match the usual format of Wikipedia articles.

–Pongr (talk) 04:31, 19 March 2012 (UTC)

Wikipedia Education Program Student Survey
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