User talk:Snoble33/sandbox

K huynhh (talk) 15:49, 28 March 2018 (UTC)C. elegans group Lead Section (1) Needed more information giving a complete overview. Should briefly touch on each topic/section you will be discussing. Life cycle (17) Needs citations and to summarize the information. This section is too long.

Cleavage (19) Great information and you went in depth about the topic. You just need citations.

Gastrulation (18) Everything is covered, all evidence is strong. It is correctly cited. Just needs minor grammar corrections. This section kind of sounds like it was written as an essay instead of an objective Wikipedia article.

Neurulation(16) Edit the last paragraph to combine the information and make it straightforward. In the second to last paragraph you mention Notch and do not define it. Axis Signaling (19) Minor grammatical changes but otherwise the information was all covered, and the evidence was great. Good job! Advantages/Disadvantages (13) Needs much more information. This section is too short. You only talked about one disadvantage. Mentioned balancer chromosomes but do not discuss what they are. Need to explain why this organism is good for heart failure and not just mention it. Explain which genes are similar to mammalian genes.

Citations (2) Needs more citations only listed 14

Reviewer: Zebrafish (khuynhh)

Introduction: Not balanced compared to other sections, add more information if possible (possibly list general stages of development), only talked about advantages/disadvantages.

Lifecycle: Unnecessary information, doesn't follow Wikipedia writing style; also added information that belongs in advantages and disadvantages section ("This helps scientists..."), no citations, link words (holometabolous, seminal receptacle, etc.). A lot of good information was provided. Check spacing in section (big gaps).

Fertilization: Long section with no citations, unnecessary information ("fertilization within Drosophila occurs a bit differently..." is not needed, essay-like). Don't jump around from different species, just speak about them generally. What is Acps? Try to filter this section, there seems to be a lot of confusing information for the average Wikipedia reader.

Cleavage: No citations, don't mention other organisms because this page is dedicated to Drosophila, stay consistent (are you using actual numbers or writing them out?), good information is provided although unnecessary information washes it out. Link words to define words that the average reader do not know.

Gastrulation: Add more citations, good section overall, link some terms.

Neurulation: Don't need "In Drosophila", good amount of citations, define some terms, the last sentence should be removed or reworded - contradicting and doesn't follow the format.

Axis signaling: Looks organized, good job explaining what the genes do, good citations.

Advantages/Disadvantages: Reword this section to sound better.

Need more references.

Lead: 1 - needs improvement, more information Content: 18 - need to filter information that is necessary Style: 2 - just need to edit writing style Citations: 1 - need more references and citations