User talk:Sochen575/sandbox

Peer Review for Sophia: Helen T. Parsons

Overall, I find the article to be very well written. The presentation of material is clear and concise, and the language is accessible. The article also does a good job of maintaining a distant, neutral perspective while also successfully highlighting the significance of the subject through the effective presentation of pertinent facts.

First is a (very) minor issue. When discussing Parsons' family background, the article says that her family "encouraged scholarly thinking for her and her sister." I don't think there's anything innately wrong with this, but it sounds somewhat awkward. Perhaps consider something along the lines of: "stressed/emphasized the value/importance of scholarly thinking to Parsons and her sister."

The structure of the article is logically sound, proceeding naturally from early life, to early studies, to academic career, and finally to later life. However, I believe that the section on doctoral studies is too short to merit being its own main section. This isn't a serious issue, but the article may flow more naturally if doctoral studies was incorporated as a subsection of the preceding graduate education section.

The later years section is also rather short, though this is more acceptable given that this content is not an obvious fit anywhere else. If, however, the section needs to be extended, it could be informative to provide (briefly) some details about her ties to the organizations/institutions mentioned. In particular, the lead section mentions that Parsons was honored with a fellowship from the American Institute of Nutrition, but the later years section only mentions that she was active with the Institute past retirement, so it may be worthwhile to add a word or two about what exactly prompted AIN to honor her in such a way.

Again, the article is extremely well written, with good structure and effective presentation of material, and I can only suggest a few minor polishing touches to improve the flow of the article (by re-locating the short doctoral studies section elsewhere) and to tie up a few loose ends (namely, the later years section).

Sareda26 (talk) 16:40, 1 November 2017 (UTC)