User talk:Song.of.purple.summer/sandbox

Hi Bibiana,

You have a really good start so far. I know this is probably because you’re working in the sandbox, but you should make sure your article has a clear and logical structure by the time you’re finished with it. Since your topic is an organization, a historical/chronological structure or origin and development, growth, current work, and even future development might be a good way to go.

Don’t be afraid to change the wording of the original article. The phrasing can be awkward and confusing to follow, which is not the case for your own contributions.

You have a really nice cross-section of sources that all look reliable, and you cite when necessary. Great job with that!

As you go forward with your fleshing out of the sections, make sure to continue discuss the impact the organization has had. Maybe about how the US and UK branches differ, the projects they have done, more of a breakdown of the mission (quote a mission statement if they have one?), and whatever else you think is relevant.

Let me know if any of this doesn’t make sense, or if you have any questions. Keep up the good work!

Reblsa65 (talk) 16:33, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

You have to pick up the pace--RJBazell (talk) 16:47, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

I think you've done a good job so far in terms of mapping out the areas that you want to add information to. You've fleshed out sections from the original article, which has helped fill some gaps. I think that you could add more links to your article, especially for major events and even medical conditions. You could add a section on how the organisation is structured, specific information about the regions it works in, its partners, and how the two branches operate. I looked at other pages on foundations, and I think it would be interesting if you added information about the organization's endowment, expenses and revenue - that could give a bigger picture of its size and reach. I still don't feel like I know enough about the organisation, but that will change once you add more to the skeleton you've mapped out. I think it looks good so far!

Ila22med (talk) 19:29, 26 October 2018 (UTC)