User talk:Soniahamdan/sandbox

Some nice work here, Sonia.

I agree that the article needs to be updated to include developments since 2010, perhaps most notably, the controversy over The National Theatre’s programme in 2016.

I think there’s a good deal of information here that is not strictly relevant – for example, there’s much biographical material on Dion Boucicault that more properly belongs on his own page, while his work in reimagining the stage Irishman would be more fitting here.

There has also been a good deal of pushback on the idea of Irish Theatre starting in the seventeenth century in recent years, and a nod to scholarship on pre-colonial performance traditions might be valuable.

In terms of neutrality, reading this as an Irish Theatre scholar, there are two very notable things missing – 1. Women’s contributions – from Katherine Philips to Teresa Deevy to Marina Carr to Charabanc to the recent Waking the Feminists movement; 2. Movements that took place away from London or Dublin stages. Field Day, Charabanc, and the postcolonial theatre & anti-sectarian movement that started in Northern Ireland in the 1980s changed the course of Irish theatre and certainly deserves more space.

The lack of neutrality in relation to gender can also be seen in the Further Reading list, which features only titles by male authors.

While you are correct that there are references throughout, it might also be helpful to think about whether any of these are peer-reviewed academic sources.

Please do come to talk to me after class so that I can show you how to work with the Talk Page.

EmerOToole (talk) 17:10, 3 October 2018 (UTC)

Teresa Deevy
1. Id like to make the introduction a bit longer, I dont think one sentence suffices to introduce Teresa Deevy considering her amount of work. Id like to include a bit of information from each section (for exemple : he works on the radio and adaptations on television) as well as most of the information int he "Background " section. So Basically I'd make the background section merge into an introduction where id go in depth in her personal life and introduce the following sections.

2. In the section "Work on Radio", I have way more to add than whats already presented. Id like to include the names of the plays and mention What was broadcasted on Éireann/RTE and what was broadcasted on BBC.

3. Id like like to elaborate in the section "Later Life and Death". I will include Post-death works done by others either in her honour or as adaptations of her plays. How the people and scholars reacted to her death and whats dedicated to her.

4. Even though there are some talk of her addressing the topics of sexuality, marriage and feminism in the section "At the Abbey theatre", Id like to add how her plays also attacked the topics of European Catholicism and Irish Nationalism. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Soniahamdan (talk • contribs) 18:24, 22 October 2018 (UTC)

Sonia's peer review
Hi Sonia,

I think your aim to enrich the information in different sections of the article is very promising overall. It is a great idea to elaborate the lead section since it certainly makes the article's structure seemed unbalanced now.

For the other parts, I think your ideas are great because they would make the information much richer and clearer to the readers. However, I believe you will need to pay extra attention to the neutrality of the text when you contribute to your point 4. Also, it will be really important to choose reliable sources for that. Perhaps the bibliography section of the first external link provided in the article can help since there is a quite diverse list of references, I will include the link as follow.

Looking forward to see your development on this article!

DianaChiu (talk) 16:59, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi

It's a good idea to expand the intro - remember to refer to the Wiki guidelines and tutorials for what constitutes a strong lead section.

I don't think you should merge the intro and the background. Rather, I think you should develop the background section and perhaps rename it. You might like to check in with here, who has done some nice work redrafting the that section under the heading "Early Life."

It's a good idea to enhance the work on radio.

I very much like the idea to put in details about posthumous productions. However, I think it might be wise to keep this separate from the "later life" section.

You (and perhaps Shazia) might also like to consider a section on themes in her writing.

So, in order to proceed, you need to do academic research, finding good information from good sources to add, and you need to start drafting. Remember that I will be grading your response to this feedback (i.e. the paragraphs intended for wikipedia that you draft in response to it) next week. EmerOToole (talk) 14:36, 1 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Just a note to remind you to start working the feedback above into the material in your sandbox. Remember that this is a graded part of the assignment. Please finish it by the end of the week, as it is significantly overdue. Failure to do so will affect your grade. EmerOToole (talk) 19:14, 8 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Some good research here and a good start made, although there are plenty of things to address before this might be ready for moving to Wikipedia.

- I would advise against amalgamating the current introductory line into the section on Background.

- You have removed the original references from most of the material that you copy/pasted from the original page. Ensure that these are present when you edit the main page.

- The reference you've offered for your additions to the section on background is not properly formatted, so it is difficult for me to tell where this information is coming from. You'll need to offer proper references in line with Wikipedia standards for each of your sources.

- The information you've added to the end of the section on Background is very good, but more care is needed with the written expression. Create a new sentence after "1958." Find a more instructive word than "proclaimed" for how Frank O’Connor and Liam O’Flaherty form part of the post-revolutionary literary moment. You don't need the word "away" after deviate, nor the word "on" after emphasizes.

- Beyond the missing references and some changes to spacing, I can see no changes to the version of "At the Abbey" that you've copy-pasted. Let me know if I've missed something here that you'd like feedback on.

- The details you've added to the "work on radio" section about original stage productions of Katie Roche and Temporal powers are valuable and interesting, but this is not the right section for them. These production details surely belong in the "At the Abbey" section. You might also like to add similar production details for other of her most successful plays.

- It occurs to me that the work on radio section might be more instructively titled "Work on Radio and TV."

- I am going to advise against giving unpublished early works their own section, as these seem a strange element of her oeuvre to emphasize above and beyond her major works. Details of any works that are not included in the list of works that close the current article can be added there.

- Regards your additions to the section on her later life and death, you've clearly found some good sources, so well done. However instead of listing sources for obituaries within the article text itself, you should tell us something about the content of those obituaries, and use references to direct readers to the sources.

Please address these critiques before next Wednesday's wiki workshop class. Looking forward to seeing this come together! EmerOToole (talk) 18:15, 21 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi

Thanks for this. There's lots of good research here, which could potentially really enrich the page on Deevy. However, I am going to advise against moving it, because there are many grammar and syntax problems, as well as some unhelpful disruption to the chronology of the section on The Abbey. As the assignment is significantly overdue, we just don't have time to fix these things. I will still be able to offer a grade based on this research and the work in your sandbox. EmerOToole (talk) 22:54, 12 December 2018 (UTC)