User talk:Sophie.noel/sandbox

Article Evaluation
Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you? -I am not sure why there is a "deaths in custody" section

Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? -It would be beneficial for the article to describe each of the five independent bodies that monitor the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission - The article could discuss some of the head officers and their roles. -There is little understanding of what the commission's role actually entails

Check a few citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article? -Most of the links do not work. -The sources do not seem very reliable -Some of the sources are Malaysian news sources, which although may be credible, are likely not accessed by the majority of people.

Is each fact referenced with an appropriate, reliable reference? Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted? -The entire section on "High Profile Cases" has no proper citations -The sources are mostly from Malaysian news sources and most likely biased -It would be helpful to use scholarly articles

Check out the Talk page of the article. What kinds of conversations, if any, are going on behind the scenes about how to represent this topic? -There seems to be a lot of plagiarism involved with this article. -It is also being revised as part of a "large-scale clean-up project of multiple article copyright infringement."

How is the article rated? Is it a part of any WikiProjects? -This article is rated as top importance for the project -it is rated as stub class on the quality scale of the project Sophie.noel (talk)Sophie Noel

Police Corruption in Mexico
Police corruption is currently one of the greatest challenges facing Mexican law enforcement agencies and politicians. Over decades, corrupt practices have embedded themselves into the judiciary system, businesses, government, police force, and every day life. In 2016, the Corruption Perceptions Index placed Mexico at 123 out of the 176 countries surveyed, indicating higher than average levels of corruption relative to other nations. While high ranking officials and the federal government are widely perceived as corrupt, policemen are seen as even more corrupt as they operate at a more local level and personal basis with Mexican communities and individuals. While anti-corruption laws do exist, these actions are rarely enforced.

Police corruption is most likely the consequence of a long history of authoritarian rule and the one-party system that held power uninterruptedly between 1929 and 2000. Mexico has a long history of police officials receiving special treatment from the elite and government officials in order to consolidate power. As Mexico developed and democratized starting in 2000 with the defeat of the Institutional Revolutionary Party, the police and enforcement institutions lagged behind.

The police are often called on last at the site of a crime, for fear that they will exacerbate the crime or incident, indicating the low level of trust they receive from Mexicans. There have been several cases in which the Mexican police force has been involved in extortion, kidnappings, and organized crime, most recently in the kidnapping of 43 students in the state of Guerrero in 2014. The weak state and institutions are significant perpetrators of the corruption that permeates Mexico, as many officials gave been captured by drug lords and cartels, leaving them powerless to mitigate any changes. Moreover, the nation has instilled weak practices for crime reporting and poor benefits for police actors. Police units suffer from minimal funding and officers have low salaries, leading them to seek alternatives in maintaining a substantial income.

The History of Corruption
Corruption in the police force can be traced back to the creation of the Mexican state in the early 19th century. In determining and consolidating power, rival groups depended on arming the forces most capable of securing and maintaining the supremacy of the elite and leadership in the state. This fostered a close relationship between the state and the police, which convenienced the ruling class. In this relationship, the state would grant the police significant levels of impunity and relative autonomy in exchange for political loyalty, pardoning the police of any wrongdoing against the public.

In the late 20th Century, Mexico began implementing democratic elections with multi-party systems. Vicente Fox was the first president of Mexico to be elected from the opposition, a significant win for the nation that had been ruled uninterrupted by one party for 71 years. It has been argued that the transition to democracy has actually intensified the problems of corruption as leaders and police officers struggle to maintain the control they once had. An indicator of this struggle can be is seen in the 1997 election of Cuauhtémoc Cardenas, the first democratically elected mayor of Mexico City. Cardenas sought to eradicate corruption in the police force by holding the police more accountable to communities through measures such as lie detector tests. These measures were met with backlash, however, when the police went on strike, which caused a spike in crime, effectively making it impossible for Cardenas to fulfill the promises and the goals he had set out to meet. This was an indicator that police corruption in Mexico was actually amplified by democratization. Police began to see democratically elected authorities as encroaching on the influence they had accumulated during the previous authoritarian government. Therefore, corruption has been aggravated as the police and government actors collude to maintain control.

Causes of Corruption
Low government funding has lead to many instances in which individual police officers have had to obtain their own life insurance, working tools, uniforms, bullet proof vests and other necessities. Exacerbating the problems already caused by low wages and a lack of basic equipment, these conditions have led many police officers to justify engaging corrupt practices, such as pocketing bribes. Furthermore, the persistence of corruption in police culture has led to the common belief that the only way to achieve wealth as a police officer is to engage in corrupt behavior. As a result, it is common for people to enter the Mexican police force with little knowledge of their salary, expecting corruption and bribery to be their main source of income.

The Guerrero Kidnapping
One of the more recent and appalling cases of police corruption in Mexico occurred in 2014 in the city of Iguala. 43 students were shot at and kidnapped by the local police which had later been traced backed to a powerful drug gang. The group of undergraduate students had been riding a school bus at night when the policemen forced them into police cars and drove away. In the aftermath, Mexican citizens rallied together and protested the corruption of the government. However, despite these efforts no information has come forward regarding what happened to the victims. Since the kidnapping, 130 people have been arrested including the police officers involved, drug cartel members, the ex-mayor of Iguala and his wife. Many have accused the government of misrepresenting the situation by suggesting the students were involved in street violence and then handed over by the police to a drug gang. Students and other Mexicans have long berated this theory as a “historic lie” used to put the story to rest rather than solve the mystery of those missing. After further investigation it was also found that not only local officials were involved in the incident, but perhaps federal officials were involved in the crime or had knowledge of its ongoings.

Effects of Corruption
There are several resulting effects of the blatant and widespread police corruption. About 88% of all crimes go unreported in Mexico and of those that do, 57% of those who report claimed they were scared to do so. Many Mexican citizens do not feel protected by the police, as 70% of Mexicans have reported a distrust of police officers. Many people have reported bribing the police, even for minor incidents such as illegal parking and other traffic violations[citation needed]. Furthermore, 62% of journalists murdered in Mexico since 1992 had been investigating cases of corruption and politics, and 86% of these homicides have gone unpunished. Mexico's business officials have noted that police corruption has had a severely negative influence on business and economic progress[citation needed]. The Mexican Institute for Competitiveness has calculated that each year corruption costs the country between 2%-10% of its GDP and reduces foreign investment by 5%. As a result, about 480,000 jobs have been wiped out from small and medium-sized business, causing Mexicans to leave the country in search of better opportunities, leading to a brain drain effect.

Efforts to Combat Corruption
Efforts to stop police corruption in Mexico have become increasingly important. Some steps have included increasing the budget and funding for local police units and supplying necessary equipment in order to combat crime. Another recent development introduced by the PRD Mayor Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador has been the creation of Community Police forces, who operate solely in one neighborhood. One of the first communities to implement this system wass Tepito, a neighborhood with a history of police corruption. In addition to creating a positive environment, community police are paid better, have access to mental healthcare, and must complete rigorous training exercises in order to be appointed. Also, the greater recognition of Mexico City as a potential global center for finance and tourism has prompted major initiatives to combat crime and corruption.

Angus' Peer Review
1. Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? -Yes, it is 2. Is there anything that distracted you? Is the article neutral? -Nothing distracted me. Furthermore, aside from a couple word choice issues, it was neutral. 3. Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? -No, I wouldn't say so 4. Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? -No, I don't think so. The article represents all viewpoints fairly. 5. Check the citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article? Is each fact supported by an appropriate, reliable reference? -Yes for the first two. For the last one, there are some instances where a source is needed 6. Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted? Is any information out of date? -There is a lot of information from the Mexican Law Review and the North American Congress on Latin America as well as various newspapers. Even in the cases where articles with biases ("Law Enforcement in Mexico: Not Yet Under Control") are used, I don't see any red fflags suggesting the wikipedia article will be biased. 7. Is anything missing that should be added? -Information on police corruption between the early 19th Century and the election of Vincente Fox. Also, the section on the Geurrero case should be smoothed out. Finally, there is a need to add links in the article.

General Comments: Good article! I learned a lot about police corruption in Mexico. You clearly did a lot of research, and it's paid off, since you cite a lot of great examples of police corruption while providing a lot of background. Below are my comments on each of your sections. I know it's a lot, but don't take it to heart: I'm just a very critical person, so i'm prone to pointing out a lot. There may be a lot in each section, but like I said, you have a good article, and most of these suggestions are built off of pretty minor issues with the piece.

Comments on "Police Corruption in Mexico" -Feels like a bit of a jumble of facts and is perhaps more verbose than needs be -I would remove the sentence "Police corruption is most likely the consequence of a long history of authoritarian rule and the one-party system that held power uninterruptedly between 1929 and 2000," as it's uncharacteristic of an encyclopedia to use a phrase like "most likely." Furthermore, you already have a section on causes, so having this information here seems redundant -In general, I think it would -No citation for "The police are often called on last at the site of a crime, for fear that they will exacerbate the crime or incident, indicating the low level of trust they receive from Mexicans" or for "Police units suffer from minimal funding and officers have low salaries, leading them to seek alternatives in maintaining a substantial income" -The first paragraph is good, there are just a few formatting issues which I edited -The second paragraph should be moved to the causes section -I would take out the mention of the Guerrero kidnapping since you already have a section on it

Comments on "History of Corruption" -First paragraph is perfect. There were some minor formatting issues which I cleared up, but other than that it was great -It seems you're missing a whole chunk of time between the early 19th Century and the election of Vincente Fox. It feels somewhat odd to skip from the roots of police corruption to the election of Vincente Fox -I think you can take out the sentence, "This was an indicator that police corruption in Mexico was actually amplified by democratization," since I eel that's rather clear and kind of breaks up the flow of an otherwise great paragraph. -I would take out the sentence "Therefore, corruption has been aggravated as the police and government actors collude to maintain control." It sounds like you're trying to convince the reader of something

Comments on "Causes" -Good paragraph, just some formatting issues which I cleared up. I think that the second paragraph of the "Police Corruption in Mexico" section should be moved here

Comments on "Cases" -Even though the Geurrero case it is appalling, that word signifies an opinion and should be replaced with something like "significant" -The connection to the drug cartel isn't made clear -"Since the kidnapping, 130 people have been arrested[16] including the police officers involved, drug cartel members, the ex-mayor of Iguala and his wife" arrested for what? Also, the citation here should go after the sentence, not in the middle -The section on the government accusing the victims of being involved in gang activity could use work. It needs to be clearer exactly what the government is accusing the students of. At the moment it is unclear what the government is claiming -"After further investigation": When? -In what capacity were local and federal officials involved?

Comments on "Effects" -This is a good, concise paragraph, and apart from some formatting and the need for citations there was nothing to be changed

Comments on "Efforts" -Once again, a good paragraph which only suffered from a few formatting errors. — Preceding unsigned comment added by AngusSeager (talk • contribs) 21:44, 24 March 2018 (UTC)

Justine's Peer Review
Hi Sophie. I like this topic and I think you did it justice by providing some well written sections and an article which overall has a nice flow and reads easily. Angus has left quite a few comments, so instead of repeating his views, I'll try to supplement his comments with my own.


 * 1) First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?
 * - The beginning paragraph provides a good overview, although sometimes I thought some redundancies were made. For ex/ the historical causes of corruption had a lot of detail in the leading paragraph, which made it redundant to read again later on in the article. Try to trim historical causes of corruption in the leading paragraph down, if you are going into further detail later in the article
 * - I like the case study of Cardenas and the police force strikes. It reads well
 * - 'The Effects of Corruption' paragraph is well-done. I think it should actually be moved up in the article, right after the lead section. The reason I'm suggesting this is because I think it makes the most sense to think of a wiki article similar to a news segment, i.e. the most relevant information should come first. In my opinion, the statistics that you mention in this paragraph is really important to know if someone wants to know about Police Corruption in Mexico, and it should be treated as such. That's just my opinion though.
 * - Citations work, from the few that I tested. Although I think this article needs more citations in general to back some of the claims made in it.


 * 1) What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * - You need to add a "lead section" which is essentially a table of contents. If you go back to some of the past wiki trainings, you should be able to find out how to do it. Or you can look at other people's pages to see how to implement it. It's super easy! And it's a necessary component of wiki articles
 * - Every statement that may seem normative needs to have a citation. For instance, "Police corruption is currently one of the greatest challenges facing Mexican law enforcement agencies and politicians" is an opinion - and because it is an opinion, it should only appear on a wikipedia page if it has credible sources to back it.
 * - I'd like to see more citations in the 'History of Corruption' paragraph. Again, I'm finding a lot of these sentences are subjective. I just want to stress that having subjective sentences are fine - as long as the subjective sentences are backed by a credible source. Without a source, the article becomes biased. Small things can fix this up though, it's a just a matter of your choice of language and heavily citing your sources
 * - The sentence, "It has been argued that the transition to democracy has actually intensified the problems of corruption as leaders and police officers struggle to maintain the control they once had." should be changed to say "It has been argued by so-and-so... blah blah". In one of the trainings, it said to be specific. If you bring up an argument in the literature, you should be stating who argued it, rather than saying "It has been argued" - this general rule of thumb should be applied to the rest of your article
 * - I also agree with Angus when he says that the 'History of Corruption' could be expanded
 * - Again, more citations need to be there in 'Causes of Corruption' - otherwise, your writing (which is well-written) is just an opinion


 * 1) What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
 * - STOP THE SUBJECTIVITY! Please! This is an encyclopedia. It should not reflect the personal opinion of the writer, which by the article, I really felt like I was just reading an essay of your viewpoint of Police Corruption in Mexico. I know it must be hard to remove yourself from a moral standpoint, but try to combat that by only stating things with a source. For ex/ a sentence like this, "One of the more recent and appalling cases of police corruption in Mexico occurred in 2014 in the city of Iguala." is appropriate for an essay, but not for an encyclopedia entry, simply from the word "appalling" (plus this sentence does not have a citation). Saying appalling is an appalling use of subjective language! :P I'm being dramatic, but you get the point. Maybe that's the problem? That you're writing this as an essay... because I found a lot of the leading sentences of the paragraphs were subjective and had no citation. Instead of trying to argue a standpoint to the reader, just list the facts and let the reader make their own judgement. Practice writing objectively :)


 * 1) General Notes
 * - I noticed that the current wikipedia article for 'Police Corruption in Mexico' states religion as a historical factor that has contributed to corruption in the police force, but it does not support these claims with citations. I was wondering why you decided to omit this historical factor, as you could have bolstered the current article by finding credible sources (if they exist) to back that religion is a contributing historical factor to the corruption within the Mexican police force.
 * -- On that note - are there any other historical reasons behind corruption in the police force from the literature?


 * - Thought: Is it possible to get a number to the salary paid to police officers? And to see how their average salary differs from the average salary in Mexico? Numbers will invariably make an objective case that police officers are not paid enough! :)
 * - I think you could expand the article by going over the intertwined relationship between the police force and organized crime (which I think may be an additional historical reason behind corruption in the police force, going back to the point I made above)
 * - It was interesting that the only cause of corruption that you stated was the low income paid to police officers. From class, I find it hard to believe that you can find only one cause of corruption! Try to dig deeper. For ex/ you could probably cite that corruption in politics in Mexico contributes to corruption in the police force (and then link to another wiki page)
 * - In general, you've put in the work to make a well-written article by the deadline. I have no doubt that you'll execute. Even though I made a lot of comments, it's really just to make your article stronger (which as it stands, is not a bad article). If I could just stress this one more time, please please please write more objectively! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jtupe (talk • contribs) 03:32, 26 March 2018 (UTC)

Manuel Balan Review
Overall, this is shaping up quite well. You've clearly done a lot of work on this, and it shows. I think both Angus and Justine gave you very valuable feedback. I agree with most of their comments, but just to highlight a couple that I think are particularly relevant: I agree with Justine that you should try to correct the style, and make the writing as objective as possible. I agree with Angus that if you are going for coverage, there are important periods missing. Something you may want to consider is to focus your attention on perhaps a smaller subset of issues, as you may be spreading yourself too much. All the content in yor draft is relevant, but it may be too much work to fill in every thread that you open. Good use of sources in general. But I would expand the search for academic sources, which are as of now rather thin in your references. Also, you NEED TO move your draft to your Sandbox, rather than the talk page.

Police Corruption in Mexico
Police corruption #2 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sophie.noel (talk • contribs) 02:47, 24 April 2018 (UTC)