User talk:Spatel137/sandbox

Mofadesewa's review
Hello Sunny, Overall, sources are credited which is a quality of a good article. Your sentences are well structured and straight to the point. Strong words are used and meaning of sentences is mostly understood.

In the section titled 'Additional Reasons Why', I believe a bit more insight could be given to what is meant by the term flaunting their gender and how the flaunting of gender brings about fame. In this section as well, female gamers are referred to as just 'females' and as females could mean anything from female chicken to female teacher, the term should be specified.

'Men occupy about 88% of the game developing community. With men dominating the Video Game industry, this leads to misrepresented views on female characters.' This is from your section titled 'Sexism in Video Games.' These sentences are not cited and so give the impression that you have formed your own conclusion that views on female characters are misrepresented due to the large percentage of men in the game developing community. While this could be true, readers need to be sure there is evidence backing this statement.

'Volibear faced harassment based on her gameplay, but also faced sexual harassment when they found out she was a female.' Again the use of the term 'a female' could be change to 'female'. Also do you mean sexual harassment or discrimination based on gender? Or did she experience verbal sexual harassment?

Adding additional examples of sexism and counter measures of sexism in the online gaming community is a fine idea.Most of the counter measures show action being taken to eradicate sexism in the online gaming community.Once these sections are integrated into the original article, it would be safe to say you have done a great job improving the article and sharing more insight about sexism that goes on in video games and video gaming communities.

MAderinsola (talk) 00:49, 24 November 2020 (UTC)

Andre Torres Feedback: Overall this looks really good Sunny, and this article seemed to be pretty developed already so great job man! Sorry I can't give you better feedback but you doing a lot of great research made my job a lot easier.

The entire focus of your additions was female related. I fully understand that sexism towards females is the major issue, but I think adding how men might face sexism will add a whole new dimension that this page doesn't yet have.

In regards to the Fake gamer girl, you highlight that male gamers will assume all female gamers play for attention, but I think that's a slightly to opinionated take for the Article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Atorres19 (talk • contribs) 06:11, 25 November 2020 (UTC)