User talk:SportsScienes

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International Sports Sciences Association
Thanks for the message on my talk page. There are a few things that IMHO make the article read like an advertisement:


 * 1) The opening sentence of the "History" section sounds like something from the history section of the subject's website. There are similar tone issues which I will take a look at.
 * 2) There is way too much detail about the founders. Again, it all sounds very website-ish. Similarly, the "Other contributors" should be eliminated.
 * 3) The "Additional affiliations" section should be reduced to those that have articles, otherwise it's just an indiscriminate list.
 * 4) Per WP:EL, the inline external links, or at least those not being used as references, should be removed and the list of ELs at the end of the article should also be pared down.

Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 00:55, 20 July 2010 (UTC)


 * FWIW, I do AGF on your creation of this article, but i concur with Ukexpat on all points. However, a good rewrite should put things in order. When you've done that, don't hesitate to ask if you would like me to check it over.--Kudpung (talk) 01:40, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello Kudpung--I've done some revisions if you'd like to check it over/offer any other suggestions. I'd appreciate it! Also, I'm not familiar with Wikipedia jargon--AGF? Thanks! --SportsScienes (talk) 21:25, 16 August 2010 (UTC)