User talk:Stephsydney

Joyce Howard
I've just seen your recent lengthy addition to Joyce Howard. I've got some concerns about it, which has caused me to revert your edit. Could you try to address these, please?

First and foremost, the insertion reads like an obituary, and like one that's been taken from a newspaper or magazine. Did you write it yourself, or is it taken from a print or online source? If the latter, then copying it may have been a violation of copyright. See WP:COPYOTHERS for more about that.

Second, there are a number of quotes in the passage with no sources. We need sources for these: not just "A contemporary critic said..." but the critic's name, and where the statement was published. You might want to read WP:REFB to see how to insert footnotes; it's usually better to use those than to clutter up the text with source information.

Third, the tone is wrong for Wikipedia. As an encyclopedia, WP should use a rather dry, formal tone. The Howard insertion reads more like a fan tribute. Passages like "the love of her life", "her truly extraordinary photographs", and the beginning of the last paragraph miss the tone.

The structure is also wrong: as I said, it reads like an obituary rather than an encyclopedia article. An article on Jane Austen, for instance, wouldn't begin with her death, reprise her biography with many gushing quotes, and end with a list of survivors and a she-will-be-missed passage. An article on a more contemporary subject shouldn't do so either.

I apologize for deleting this rather lengthy passage, especially if it's your own work. Indisputably, it contains some useful facts that would make a valuable addition to the article. However, it needs some serious rewriting: if not to avoid copyright violation, then to put it in a proper encyclopedic tone and to provide citations for the facts in it. Ammodramus (talk) 13:17, 27 August 2012 (UTC)

I did write it, Joyce Howard was my mother, it is an obituary and was published in part in the London Times. I did a lot of research through her old press clippings to write it. I do not have time to rewrite it so do what you must.