User talk:Sultanmoe/Built environment/BucketBridge234 Peer Review

The article demonstrates a really good understanding of the topic with supportive sourcing. Most of the sources are on the positive side of building relationships through eLearning and I think a source or two on the damages of eLearning on teacher-student relationships would help balance out the ‘neutrality’ of the Wikipedia article. The lead section reads like the opening of an essay. Maybe using a quote later in the opening would give the reader more of a ‘neutral’ feel. There are a lot of spelling errors that make the article harder to read. For example: “There are many strategies that teachers can use to build a positive relationship with their teachers.” Which should read teacher-student relationships. I like that the article presents a 5 step way for fostering a teacher-student relationship through digital education. A bullet point list of the steps/strategies would be really great to include and help readers narrow down their understanding.

I would suggest alternative formatting that doesn’t follow traditional essay structure. As Wikipedia is supposed to be neutral and easier reading an academic writing tone makes for a more difficult read. It also leads to feeling ‘persuasive’. The overall feel of the article feels like reading an essay as the end paragraph ends with ‘to concluded’ (minor spelling error here)

Checking over the article for grammatical and spelling errors is the biggest place to start first. It hinders some of the comprehension and context of the main idea of the article.

The article directly links to the one I worked on as digital education is the cause of the digital divide in education. One of the hardest things with technology education outside of access is meaningful connection between teachers and students. I think that our sources really could help each other build a greater understanding of the affects of technology based education.