User talk:SwimSusan/sandbox

Alex's peer review for Leaf-nosed bats
Hi all!

This is such a great start. I saw it when it was mostly just the Classification list and it looks so much better. I love the pictures -add more! They're such cute animals. As far as your lead section goes, it seems to be a bit too detailed. This section should be an overview of what you talk about in more depth later on in the article, and you have the sections set up to do this. Some of your sentences get confusing because of how much information you're trying to get into a relatively small area. Go broad here, and then go more into detail in the rest of the article. Also, is the entirety of the first two and a half paragraphs all from that one source? Even if it is, you might want to cite it earlier on, or maybe add a couple things from other sources to have a variety in the lead section to make sure you have "balanced coverage" as the training module says.

The structure overall seems pretty good, but I was wondering why you chose to have Range and Human impact as separate headings when they seem to be just as related to "Biology and ecology" as social systems, and are both very short sections. I thought the Description section was a little out of place too - the heading doesn't seem descriptive enough, and I think it should probably go right after the lead section. Perhaps this could be where a lot of the details from the lead section go, and make the heading more specific - maybe something to do with Physical characteristics? Also, later on in the Biology and ecology, perhaps don't start that paragraph with "[these bats] use echolocation to locate food sources" if you're going to follow up a sentence later about how most of them actually use scent.

I can't say that I read every single one of your sources, but they all look reliable and you present the information in a neutral way. I didn't see any glaring examples of arguments or controversial opinions in the text, and you draw from a good variety of sources. A couple of your references have issues with the citation formatting, like Ref. 10 and 27.

Some small things: What is the difference between Old World and New World leaf-nosed bats? In the lead section, perhaps you could add a wiki link to Phyllostomidae, and gonochoric in Life cycle, instead of somewhat bulky parentheticals. The first sentence in Evolution is an awkward and confusing sentence.

Overall, this looks really good, and I'm excited to see the finished project! Alkunzle (talk) 07:07, 6 November 2018 (UTC)