User talk:Talliejean/sandbox

Employee Motivation
confirming this is the sandbox you are using for employee motivation? JButlerModaff (talk) 18:27, 11 October 2017 (UTC)

Employee Motivation Citation: Ramlall, S. (2004). A review of employee motivation theories and their implications for employee retention within organizations. The Journal of American Academy of Business, 5(1), 52-63. Ringbmol000 (talk) 20:30, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Peer editing
The following edits apply to the "Motivational Techniques" edit in the sandbox First paragraph: It seems redundant to say "employee's human behavior." It would be beneficial to eliminate "human." Change heading from "Motivational Techniques" to a lower-case "t" in "techniques." Second paragraph: "He viewed employees not as individuals, but as pieces of a the larger workforce and in doing so his theory stresses that giving employee’s individual tasks, supplying them with the best tools and paying them based on their productivity was the best way to motive them." ---> "He viewed employees not as individuals, but as pieces of a the larger workforce; in doing so, his theory stresses that giving employees individual tasks, supplying them with the best tools, and paying them based on their productivity was the best way to motive them." Third paragraph: "In the mid 1920’s another theorist Elton Mayo began studying the workforce." ---> "In the mid 1920’s another theorist, Elton Mayo, began studying the workforce." Fourth paragraph: "Employers that set realistic and challenging goals for their employees often help with employee motivation." ---> "Employers that set realistic and challenging goals for their employees help create employee motivation." To make it sound more scholarly, eliminate "often." "By allowing employees to engage in their job, and achieve satisfaction when reaching a goal it can entice them to want to keep setting goals to reach new successes." ---> "By allowing employees to engage in their job and achieve satisfaction when reaching a goal, it can entice them to strive to reach new successes." Fifth paragraph: "Employees that help in the process of setting goals for themselves with their employers also have the intrinsic benefit of participating in decisions, which can lead to higher motivation as they are empowered in their workplace." ---> "Employees that work along side their employers in the goal-setting process have the intrinsic benefit of participating in decisions, which can lead to higher motivation, as they feel empowered in their workplace." The original sentence seemed confusing. Sixth paragraph: "Satisfiers and dissatisfiers can both be applied in motivation techniques. Sense of achievement and interesting work are two satisfiers." ---> "Satisfiers and dissatisfiers can both be applied in motivation techniques; a sense of achievement and interesting work are two common examples of satisfiers." " colleagues play an important role of the workplace. Each are interacting with daily." I don't understand what the point of these sentences was supposed to be. In this paragraph, you should explain what satisfiers and dissatisfiers are. There is no explanation to go along with them. It would provide much more clarification if you provided a definition.

The following section discusses the "Rewards" section in your sandbox. Are you indicating that the paragraph in the sandbox should replace the on in the Wiki article? I think the Wiki paragraph needs to stay in there. You should just combine them. Wiki: "Using rewards as motivators divides employee motivation into two categories: intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic rewards are internal, psychological rewards such as a sense of accomplishment or doing something because it makes one feel good. Extrinsic rewards are rewards that other people give to you such as a money, compliments, bonuses, or trophies." Sandbox: "Scientific Theory which Douglas McGregor coined Theory X, applies to the extrinsic wants of employees. The basis for the motivation is supervision structure and money. Scientific Theory is based on the grounds that employees don't want to work so they have to be forced to do their job, and enticed with monetary compensation.The other side of motivation, Theory Y, was also named by Douglas McGregor. This theory says that employees are motivated by intrinsic or personal reward. With this theory different factors can be used to heighten the intrinsic benefit that employees are receiving at their job." ---> "Using rewards as motivators divides employee motivation into two categories: intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic rewards are internal, psychological rewards such as a sense of accomplishment or doing something because it makes one feel good. Extrinsic rewards are rewards that other people give to you such as a money, compliments, bonuses, or trophies. From Douglas McGregor's Scientific Theory comes Theory X, which applies to the extrinsic wants of employees. The basis for the motivation is supervision structure and money. Scientific Theory is based on the grounds that employees don't want to work so they have to be forced to do their job, and enticed with monetary compensation.Theory Y, also derived from McGregor's theory, says that employees are motivated by intrinsic or personal reward. With this theory different factors can be used to heighten the intrinsic benefit that employees are receiving at their job."

The following assesses "Locke's Theory of Motivation" "SMART strategy is succesful at defining the an objective and its achievability but within Lockes Theoy of motivation there are five key principles to motivate the accomplishment and completion of the partular objecive." ---> "SMART strategy is successful in defining an objective and its achievability. Within Locke's Theory of motivation, there are five key principles to motivate the accomplishment and completion of the particular objecive." Madkinster (talk) 21:31, 16 November 2017 (UTC)

Peer Editing
Motivational Techniques: First Paragraph: I would consider a different word to replace structures. I would suggest dropping structure and putting businesses, or possibly putting business systems. I would also eliminate human in "employees human behavior". It seems unnecessary.

Second Paragraph: I would put a comma in the third sentence after motivation. I think it would flow better. I would also make the fourth sentence into two sentences, and adding commas in the second one. I think it would help read better.

Third Paragraph: I would insert a comma after theorist in the first sentence.

Fourth Paragraph: I'm not sure where the second, third, and fourth paragraphs are going in the article, but if they are going right after one another, they don't flow together very well and might need some good transitioning sentences to help relate them.

Seventh Paragraph: I would capitalize Colleagues towards the end of the paragraph, and the second to last sentence doesn't make sense. "Each are interacting with daily". Should it be, "Each are interacted with daily"? I also think the second to last, and last sentences could flow better together. They seem a little choppy.

Lockes Theory of Motivation: Would this go under "Lock's goal theory"? "Lockes Theory of Motivation", should be "Locke's Theory of Motivation". I would also make the second sentence into two.--> "SMART strategy is successful at defining an objective, and its achievability. Within Locke's Theory of motivation, there are five key principles to motivate the accomplishment and completion of the particular objective." Make sure to fix the spelling of successful and theory. I would also eliminate "the" before "an". Under number 1, "ambiguoius", should be "ambiguous". Under number 2, "signifacnce", should be "significance". Under number 5, you should insert a comma after motivation and before but, to help split the sentence. McKennaRose (talk) 01:51, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

Peer Editing
McKennaRose and Madkinster covered a lot of what could use some attention, I have just a few minor suggestions. :)

Second Paragraph:

"Taylor’s basic theory of motivation is that works are motivated by money" Works should be workers.

"pieces of a the larger workforce" should lose either "a" or "the".

There's a lot of information in this paragraph, and the next one, but only one citation late in the second paragraph. Is there anything that can be formally cited, just to fill it out and back up the claim?

Last Paragraph: "Forming high quality relationships with peers can extrinsically improve employee motivation." Is there anything you can/have cited backing up the claim high quality peer relationships lead to improved employee motivation.

There are also a number of minor spelling typos in the Locke's section. I would go over it carefully. They're pretty easy to miss.

You guys did a great job linking to other wikipedia articles, and I think you have a lot of good information. Keep it up. SymoneSine (talk) 22:40, 19 November 2017 (UTC)

Peer editing
My edits are also from everything done on the sandbox page. Overall, I feel like y'all are doing a great job- just some minor edits/changes that could be done to polish everything up.

Overall: Just make sure everyone's writing styles mesh well together. I know we are writing analytically, but everyone still has their own word choice, etc, maybe have someone go through and just use similar transition words, stuff like that. As SymoneSine mentioned, there are minor spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the article, so before you go "live" I would check that.

Motivational Techniques: Honestly, this huge amount of text not broken up overwhelms me. I would go over it and see if there is anyway to either shorten it/some of the text or break it up into subsection(s). I would also recommend giving a brief listing of all the theorists/theories being used in the section.

First Paragraph: The first sentence defining what motivation is should have the word "defined" in it, ex: "Motivation can be defined as the effort that an individual puts forth in a job or activity in order to reach an end goal. There have been different techniques applied in business structures that motivate aspects of their employee's human behavior."

For example:

Second Paragraph: Could be subtitled "Taylorism" Third Paragraph: "Hawthorne Effect" Fourth Paragraph: "Goal Setting Theory" Sixth paragraph: "Employee Engagement" Seventh paragraph: "Two-Factor Theory"

Rewards: I think it would be good splitting up the lengthy paragraph like you have it.

Jennaives (talk) 20:19, 19 November 2017 (UTC)