User talk:Tcb103/sandbox

Colin Schulz Comments: -Awesome header! -More information on Dr Wynkoop and his other teachers in general could be interesting. -Some clarification on the seashells and their importance might be good. At this point the info about what he did in Liberia seems kind of random. -I think Abolitionist Work is a good title -Didn't the Underground Railroad also transport people to the Northern U.S. and not just Canada? I could totally be wrong. -"He worked WITH Stephen Meyer" - you missed a word on that part -Delving moreso into what the Albany Vigilance Committee was would be cool -Your article says he was thought to have run the "best Underground Railroad station in New York," but I think that needs a source as it sounds kind of biased otherwise. -Maybe delve more into what the chamber commode is -Your overall structure is really good and I especially like how you talked about the historical context for African-Americans getting into pharmacy -Your sources look really good and It's cool that you added the two patents.

Quality of Lead: I think the lead is really good and concise! I am not sure if it would be succinct in the lead to move the portion of him moving and visiting Liberia to somewhere deeper in the article, but I think everything else is perfect!

It would be cool to see info on his early life (if there is information out there, that is).

It would be nice to provide info or links to the other characters in his career to understand who they were and their importance (Dr. Wynkoop, Dr. Charles Payne, Dr. Marsh, TH Sands Pennington).

Expansion on abolitionist work, (which looks like it's in the process of).

His inventions seem to be a very prominent part of his life, it would be interesting to see expansion on his inventions and what exactly they were and how they functioned.

Like the article, lots of cool info and I like the writing style!

-Ryan Tuthill — Preceding unsigned comment added by HistoriansCraft (talk • contribs) 23:20, 28 November 2018 (UTC)

Prof. Smith feedback:

Hi Tessa,

My feedback on your article is very similar to that of your peers. I thought that the header was strong and I was happy to see that you were so far along in your research. Your article is already well developed and detailed. Your writing was clear and error free.

Like your peers, I'll note that your article is still somewhat unfinished. If you can, I'd like to see you fill out the section under "Abolitionist Work." Maybe one way to do this is to retitle this section "Abolitionist Work and Civil War Service," and then move the section on his military work down under this section. Even though it was a part of his career, I'm guessing that he would have seen his wartime work as a major part of his activism.

I would also be sure to include the "See Also" and "External Links" section to address all of the necessary components of the assignment. The article template posted on the front page of Canvas will give you some tips on how to complete those areas. — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs) 00:06, 1 December 2018 (UTC)